Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

Hurting and Lost

I was recently dating a girl from high school that is married. I'm 35 and she is 33. She sought me out on fb and we started talking back in Feb. I know it wasn't a great idea but the more we talked the more she convinced me it was over between them and she was just trying to figure out the best way to leave and take her 3 yr old son. I agreed to meet and long story short we had a 5 month relationship. I say relationship because we talk 100 times a day. Emailed, fb, yahoo messaged, saw each other 2 or 3 times a week. As time progressed I pushed and pushed because for one it wasn't right and for two I wanted to know this was real and not a game to her. She finally told him about us and he throw her out. That same day she yahoo messaged me it's over and goodbye. She begged him to take her back and he did. They are apparently working it out whatever the hell that means. She has been cheating on the guy for the better part of there marriage. I guess I'm just lost, hurting, angry, mad at myself, feel like a fool, etc. etc. etc. I know I probably dogged a bullet. She clearly isn't a great person with morals or anything of that nature. But I bought into all of it. I cry everyday and I'm not sure if it's just cause of the loss, or I'm guilty for even being part of something so f-ing stupid. Just depressed, bottom line. I almost lost my job and this has taken a huge tool on me. Sad Mind you the whole time she told me she wanted a life with me and a future. she told me if she didn't a have a child she would have left day one for me. Don't even know how to let go or move on. She just walked away and went silent on me.
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replied July 23rd, 2011
I dont want to sound nasty or mean Andy, but why was you going for a married woman in the first place?
Whether she loved you or not, she is married. I know in this day and age marraige does not mean alot. But there must have been some degree of love from both parties to get married in the first place.
This is what normally happens when you go for married men/women. I am sorry about the pain you are going through right now, and even though i disagree with your actions, I know the feeling your going through all too well, and i wouldnt wish it on anyone.
I hope all ends well for you anyway.
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replied August 1st, 2011
I'm so lost. I love her so much it hurts. It's so hard to love someone and not have them love you back the same way. I want to spend my life with her and she choose another man. I need to get away from LA and my life here. I'm going to quit my job and move away. I need to get away from all of this. I'm a mess.
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replied August 2nd, 2011
The hardest thing is my best friend is gone and that was her choice. I have to except she didn't want me. I have to try and figure out how to be okay again. I deserve someone that wants a life with me and wants to be with me. My ego is shattered. My heart is shattered. I'm a shell of what i was back in Feb. I gave all of myself to someone and they decided it wasn't good enough and that's hard pill to swallow. I love her so much. She made me laugh, smile, she made me feel like I was 16. I would get butterflies when I saw her. I saw her Sat. and he just re-confirmed what i already know. I love her. I don't really know where to go from here. Everyday I just pray and hope she will come back to me but that's no way to live. Excepting that someone doesn't want you is beyond painful. Yes, people haven't wanted me before but nobody that I wanted this badly. We were great together. Great!
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replied August 2nd, 2011
All I do is cry now. 35 year old gross ass man and all i do is cry. My employees ask me why I'm so sad all the time and i have to leave and go outside cause i start crying.
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replied August 2nd, 2011
It's awesome now. I see her Saturday. She acts like she cares. Than right back to silent. Like I'm a piece of garbage again. I don't understand at all. Than I'm right back calling and leaving messages like a mad man. All seeing her did was give me hope she wanted me back. It made me think she missed me and loved me and now I'm right back at square one. This is horrilbe. All these woman want to go out with me and all I think about is her. I'm going on a date tonight just to try and forget about how miserable and hurt I feel. UGH
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replied August 3rd, 2011
At the end of the day there is nothing I can do. She didn't choose me. I think she will be back. We love each other too much for us to be apart. There was something we had that isn't an everyday occurance. There was something I had with her that I have never had with another woman. I would have taken care of her and her son. I would have loved them and protected them. I would have loved her the way she wanted and deserved. There is nothing more I can do now. I don't know where I will be in the future. All I know is I believe in my heart that Gen and I belong together. I know she feels the same way and I guess that's why this is so sad. She is too scared to go for it. Nothing I can do.
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replied August 3rd, 2011
This will be my last post. I'm going dark. No more fb, social networking, no more anything. A month ago today the most beautiful woman in the world sat in my lap at my office and told me she wanted a life with me, a future with me, and only me. She told me there was no better guy in the world and that she didn't want to stay with her husband. We kissed, we cried, we hugged, we were in love. A month later she is gone. I'm destroyed and empty. I'm a shell of a man. I have cried everyday for a month. I love her and want her back. I want to spend my life with her. I hope one day I can come back here and write she came back to me. I hope one day she makes this right. Until that day I'm going away. She is the most amazing and wonderful woman I have ever meant. We are still in love. Sad
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replied August 8th, 2011
I will be fine. Clearly I let one F-ed up person into my life and got played bad. Lesson learned. Karma!
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replied August 9th, 2011
I woke up today and for the first time in a month I feel good and relieved. I now know what kind of person I was dealing with. I saw her and her husband posting to each other on twitter and it hit me. I realize now I was just used and nothing more then a toy. I realize I got involved with a very selfish and messed up woman. Last Saturday she was telling me she loved me and this and that. She is a liar that I allowed to play both sides for 6 months. I was manipulated and I allowed it all to happen. But not anymore. I'm free from her and her games. I'm free from her lies. I got involved with a married woman and that's not right. I did cause I was lonely and I know she would not expect much. But I started to fall and I did and she led me right down that path. She was never going to leave for me. She was never going to be mine. The whole thing was when it fit into her schedule, her time, my feelings, hopes, dreams, etc. meant nothing to her. I'm looking for someone that is loyal, honest, caring, respectful, etc. and she is none of those things. Watching her husband call her honeycakes a month after I was having sex with her in every possible way is beyond strange to me. I'm glad I'm out of this position and I'm glad it's not my problem anymore. I'm free to find a woman who will love me right and I can start to forgive myself for my poor decision making and choice.
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replied August 9th, 2011
The only thing I don't understand is how a husband allows his wife who just had a 6 month affair and also she has been cheating on him with multiple men over 7 years back into his house and bed. I can only assume she is manipulating him just like she did me and not being fully honest. Not my problem but disgusting.
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