Everything will be OK. It is a lot more common than most people think, it's just not something people talk about or feel comfortable talking about. I felt the same way when I was diagnosed with HSV type 1. I felt pretty devastated. The main thing that really helped me with the whole situation was by educating myself on the topic. I did so much research, asked many questions. I came to find out it wasn't what I thought it was. I mean it's still very unfortunate and I, by no means, am happy with it, but you learn to live with it. So that is my biggest suggestion for you, is to educate yourself on the topic, I think it'll help a lot. It made me think about what other things I made judgements on, without REALLY knowing the topic or much about. Anyway, I wish you luck. I good thing I read before, was remember you 'have' herpes, herpes ISN'T you. Also, an interesting point of topic that you may like to read is about Oral Herpes as well.
Best of Luck to you.

PS- Do you know if you have Type 1 or Type 2? Oral Herpes (cold sores) can be transmitted to the genitals through contact. Something I never knew..

I have type two, but I have no idea who I got it from because I've only had sex with three people all of which I saw no open sores on. But through research I've found out that they don't have to have open sores to transfer the virus. I've always been safe with everyone except my current boyfriend. I'm going to the gyno tomorrow morning to see what she plans on doing. I'm nervous :/

your current BF could have easily had a cold sore and gave you oral sex. This could have given you genital herpes. Or one of your ex-boyfriends could have had it. There is also a chance that you contracted genital herpes even with protection. Herpes is transferred through skin to skin contact. There doesnt have to be an exchange of bodily fluids or even pentration for it to be passed on. Thats whats to scary and confusing about having it. Cause you just never know who, when and how you got it.

if your current BF Doesn’t have it then you can do a couple things. You guys could start using protection every time you have sex. You could not have any sexual contact during an outbreak. And you can also go on suppressive therapy or daily medication. This prevents outbreaks and lowers your risk of passing it on. Medication combined w/protection will lower your chances of passing it tremendously. But there is still that little tiny chance.

I know a couple that have been married for 10 years, she hasn’t got herpes from him. Like a previous poster said…do a lot of research. Have all your questions ready for your doc visit. The more you know the better you will feel.


pm me anytime ok? I was diagnosed w/Herpes 1 & 2 at 15. IM now 22 married w/a son. SO I have experienced just about everything w/herpes.

I got it on my penis from my wife who only has type one mouth. I don't have it on my mouth. It can be transmitted even when a person doesn't have a visible sore. This can occur during a period called shedding. I've tried every potion and gimic. None really work. I take 500mg of Valtrex every day and have only had a couple minor outbreaks last year. Before that, it was sometimes a couple times a month. Here is what I have found - Stress can cause an outbreak. Excessive sunlight will do it. If you don't believe me, spend a day at the beach in the sun or go to a tanning booth. You'll break out within 2 days. My wife has been getting laser hair removal. That effect on the skin will cause a breakout unless she takes some preemptive Valtrex. Otherwise, she can go a year or more without a breakout. That's the good news, you get better with time.
See your doctor and get Valtrex. Creams don't work or even speed healing contrary to claims. Use Valtrex and avoid the breakout to begin with. If your doctor won't prescribe, find another.
I am in no way compensated for recommending Valtrex. I've tried numerous other drugs, and this works the best.
Good luck

I went to my doctor Monday and was put on 500 mg of Valtrex. My boyfriend got his blood test results back today and he has type one but not type two which is what I have so I know it wasn't him who gave it to me. We've talked to both of our doctors and they just told us that we have to use a condom every time and have no physical contact(down there) when I'm having an outbreak. He still wants to be with me which is a huge plus in my book right now because I couldn't even imagine trying to date and having to explain this to a potential partner. But I'm just glad to have discovered this website and I'm also glad to everyone who has responded to this post. Thanks. I now understand that even though I do have genital herpes that life can and will go on.

Yes life does go on and you will see that you arent a bad person after all and that you are just as beautiful as before. See how your BF is so understanding? He loves and supports you. It doesn’t change how they feel about you either. If they really love and accept you it wont matter.

Hang in there. You will be alright. You may be a little up and down until all this really sinks in. Feel free to post anytime. Oh and a good way to heal thiose sores is to take a warm bath w/baking soda. Just fill the tub enough to cover your bottom and add ½ cup of baking soda. The baking soda helps dry out the sore and really really makes them no itch so bad, and it keeps them clean.

In response to a post above, I have heard the same about tanning, sunlight etc causing outbreaks. However, I am at the tanning booth about once a week and I have noticed no difference, it hasn't caused anything. So I think it all depends on the person etc. It might help to keep track of things that may seem to trigger an outbreak for you, as it could differ from person to person.

it's a possibility he gave it to you. this disease is like having a ringworm...if he has it on his lips and touch your private area...then he infected you.
i know so many people who have this and all of them do the same thing. they dont tell there sex partner they have it b/c it's really hard to talk about it. and they think if they dont get any symptoms they dont have to worry about infecting their partner.
i have 1&2 i really believe my son's father gave it to me. he also gave it to his g/f after me w/o telling her. when i first told him he didnt even seem surprised, as if he knew.
i had a girlfriend that was engaged and she told me if her finance ever found out, she's going to pretend to be surprised.
1 out of every 6 people have this. i had it for 13 years and it took me years to get over it. i hardly every have outbreaks, but in the begining i would get them a lot due to stress.
if you and your b/f ever break up i was told they have internet dating site with people who have hsv.
good luck

well its been a couple months since i found out. i'm still with the same boyfriend, who still accepts it as part of life. i couldn't be any happier, except the fact that i am currently having my second outbreak, which is pretty mild, right now. but who cares, i have the greatest guy in the world cause he loves me for me. he knows my biggest secret in the world and he still CHOOSES to be with me. how much more could i ask for. i think i have finally come to terms with my disease

Good that you are making it throught it, but I'm sorry it's not fair that someone who is clean would subject themselves to the virus considering relationships never last (especially in this culture). I thought one of the main points of education was to reduce the number of infections, but this sounds like it defeats the purpose.

how long before a second herpes outbreak.

jkel124, While I appreciate your opinion, I also think that you need to keep it to yourself from now on. What my boyfriend chooses to do with his life is HIS decision, not yours. He'll most likely never get the disease because we always use protection and never engage in anything sexual when I have an outbreak.

jkel1243,
are you saying that everyone who has herpes should date only people who have herpes?

your comment is offensive to many!

there are plenty of people who have hsv1, hsv2 who are in healthy relationships with people who dont have the virus.

No to mention, how many people have it and do not know. Regardless, he must not really be educated much on the topic so his reply in no way put anything towards this message bored. It is funny how Oral Herpes is looked at so differently than Genital Herpes when they could both be type one or two...not much different anyway. It's looked at like a 'dirty' virus. Wake up! Get educated before posting a comment to something like this, obviously this person isn't.