If the cause for a painful intercourse is infection with herpes, you should feel the entire genital area very tender or painful, even when you don't have sex.
You may have flu-like symptoms including fever, headache, and swollen lymph nodes, too.
Before getting the sores, first, you'll notice itching or pain, than sores will appear a few hours to a few days later.
Genital herpes can cause sores inside the vagina and at the cervix, that may cause pain during sex.
The lesions you have on your lips, could be an oral herpes, and the same virus could be transmitted to the genital area.
STD's affecting genital organs (vagina, cervix, tubes), and urinary tract infections, can trigger painful intercourse.
I think you should make a complete examination for all STD's (candidiasis, chlamydia, trichomonas),including herpes!
Condition known as endometriosis and ovarian cysts should be take into consideration when searching for cause of painful intercourse.

Best wishes!