The honest truth is that no one is ever ready to have a baby and even as an adult you get the know it alls telling you how life is going to change, how it will never be the same, and how you'll never get to sleep again.

It wouldn't matter if you are having your first child at 20 or 45, everyone has an input. The difference at being 45 though, is you don't care so much what anyone says.

I know. I just thought people would give me advice, and not put me down. But I guess that would be the typical response to hearing a teen pregnant. There are so many pregnant teens these days, I guess that people are just trying to open our eyes, make us see that we are giving up our freedom basically, to take care of a child. and I take every word someone says to me to heart. I understand. I guess I just worry alot about what people think and say. Ive always been like that =/

But thank you for the response =]

I think adults today feel that sex is so much a part of life in our society, they don't understand why there isn't more emphasis on birth control. Kids are experimenting younger and younger and now more than ever there is a need for proper protection. I was a mother at 17, but I am seeing that back then, over three decades ago, teenagers were a bit more mature and seemed more ready to take care of an unexpected pregnancy. From my view, a 21 year old today, is like a 16 or 17 year old back in the 60s'. We seem to be going in reverse in maturity.

Plus, the lack of jobs and the men taking responsibility in the baby's care makes it even harder. People are having sex with just about anyone, first date, second date, whatever...back then, it was usually your boyfriend of at least a year, usually more. And they almost always got married. Now there are so many single parents, is frightening, and unless there is strict upbringing and setting a good example for these babies, we are turning out some really unhappy kids. That leads to more unhappy kids...it's a viscious circle.

I sympathize with you, but now you have the chance to do the right thing and take good care of that new little one. Learn from your mistake, don't add to it. You will survive this, and perhaps go on to have a wonderful life...it's all up to YOU and the choices you make from here on in. I wish you the best of luck, it isn't going to be easy, that's true, but you can do it, and you both can thrive! Good luck!

If it would make you feel better, remember that as little time past as our grandparents, getting married and having children was commonplace in their teens (early teens in some cases). It's petty and childish to get spiteful, but sometimes childish works. I've had more than a few friends get pregnant before they graduated high school and most of them have made marvelous mothers. Sure the stress gets to them; they've had their own problems with things that they may have avoided if they'd waited. But none of them have had any problems that couldn't be worked through. I wish you the best, and hope you stay in touch with any of your friends and family who are supportive and can help you when things feel overwhelming

Hey Girl
First of all im going to say something that a lot of people prolly havent said and that CONGRATS:) How old are you? Just from reading your post you seem like you are pretty mature and that you will be a good mom.. I agree with what a lot of people in the above post are saying about the older generations and how they "look down" on teen pregnancy.. As far as people making you feel low about your pregnancy DONT.. As long as your happy knowing your going to have a baby, and your ready to step up and accept responsibility for your child-then dont listen to them.. Of course your not ready per say but honestly who is? i mean even people who try and try to have a baby even in their 30's really arent ready and dont know exactly how their world is going to change..Anyways im kinda just babbling on and on but i hope this helps.. If you ever need anyone to talk to im here, just Private Message me..
Alyssa<3

Mariee2009, I think people are trying to prepare you for the reality you will soon face- they're just not going about it very well. It's really fruitless but people feel the need to try and tell you how things will be anyway. The fact of the matter is that all the advice and preparation in the world will not give you a true idea of motherhood. Just like no single person can truly understand the commitment and work that marriage requires until they say "I do." Plus, many people feel the need to state all the negatives of teen pregnancies so no other teens will do the same thing. But what is done is done. All the negative talk in the world will not change things, only worsen them. They should be helpful and supportive and keep any negative comments to themselves. I'm sorry that you have not been able to enjoy this pregnancy as much as you should because of the negative feedback.

trust me the advice and cristism won't ever stop. A friend of mine who is 18, she has just had her second kid(she's a navy wife like me)..she had her first at 16 and she still gets dirty looks NOW.

She's a fantastic mother though and she told her mom by the time the baby was born she was going to graduate school and have her license.. and she did. She got herself into an accelerated class to get her GED.

Having a kid at any age is tough and I hope you have someone who can help you out when you get to the moment of ripping all your hair out. I know I help out my friend. I babysit her 2 year old for free(because he's well behaved) and when her cleaning gets backed up I'll come over and entertain the kids while she catches up.

but goodluck. I'm trying to get pregnant with my first. and hopefully your friends don't do to you what they did to my friend.

people have all kinds of "good intentions"...but the problem is that they tend to focus on what got you pregnant as opposed to the fact that you are, and the reality is that if they were positive in their attitude to you, then it may be of help to you. soooo...i'll tell you congratulations too!

i'm 27 and i've never been pregnant, so i don't know what it's like other than vicariously through the experiences of a few friends. we all know it changes everything, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't change everything for the better. 99.9% of people i know who have had a baby tell me that it's very hard, but that if they could go back and "un-do" it, they wouldn't do it.

what does that tell you? that it's rewarding, and it's awesome at the same time it's difficult. you've got your work cut out for you, but when you're 40, your baby will be in college and you'll be having a whole new life that someone who waits until they are 30 to have a baby just won't have. see my point. the glass is either half empty or it's half full and that all depends on your perspective.

when someone puts you down in the future, and they tell you how terrible everything is going to be, just tell them to keep it to themselves, because you're happy to be a mom-to-be and you're a "glass is half-full" kind of girl.

congrats again and best wishes to you and your new baby.
jasmine

wow. thank you all so much! and I know for a fact that I am not an adult yet, and I have alot of growin up and eye opening to do. I have been through alot, but never been through pregnancy so this should be an experience for me! and I am currently 8 weeks along, and I am 17 years old. =] I cannot wait! any advice??

Hi mariee,i just had to post you here,i know you feel that you are still being critised and i will say ive seen a few unhelpful posts to you,but the majority of the adults telling you dont do it was before you acctually found out you were pregnant,now you are pregnant i think it will stop,the reason you didnt get any positive responses from even the young teen moms is because they all knew just how hard life is and that its just not a good idea to plan a pregnancy so young,ive never seen one teen mom on here saying i planned it and it was the right thing to do because most will say it was wrong thing to do that they should have waited.That being said you are pregnant now so for me its not about trying to help you see it would be good to wait anymore,Its about giving you advice and help where ever nessessary,and i am glad that you will avoid giving conception advice on other teen threads wanting a baby i think thats really sensible of you and feel free to ask anything you want to me i will be happy to support you as best i can

Thank you so much. and any advice is greatly appreciated. I dont know if I posted it in a post you were following, but I need light food that will hellp make nausea go away. I cant stand it!

don't they make these morning sickness gummi's you can eat, A friend of mine ate those and didn't have to worry about morning sickness.

that would be greatttttt. do you know a brand name or anything?

You already know my stance on your pregnancy, so I see no reason to get into it again. Essentially, people are going to judge you indefinitely, and for good reason. Whoever up above said that we're growing in reverse for maturity was correct. I'm seventeen years old, and even I know that we teenagers in this day and age are selfish, naive, nearsighted, and, although exposed in different ways, sheltered in others. Our grandparents lived through the World Wars, our parents lived through Vietnam and Korea, and although there's a war going on right now, we're not exposed to it on a daily basis in a real way like during other wars. This is not a specific commentary on you in particular, but all teenagers. Even me. I wish I had the insight older generations had.
This said, you made your decision. There's no going back and having an epiphany that, as a seventeen year old, you shouldn't actively be trying to bring another life into the world (which I suppose I should specify as my own personal belief, for fear of everyone freaking out at me). Your job now is to grow a thicker skin, hold your head high, and have a healthy baby. F*** everyone else. Think of being a good mother as being your contribution to redefining this generation. Do it for us.

Mariee, indeed you need to let words repel off you. The old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.......well not necessarily true. I was a young mother and back then I was looked down upon and I was always treated with less respect than the other mothers. I am not going to say it didn't hurt but I didn't let my life revolve around it either. When negative comments was passed my way I would smile and say "this too shall pass". My only concern is I have seen some of your post condoning teenage pregnancy. Maybe the ones you are getting comments from feel you are not ready because of your outlook on teenage pregnancy? Our generations are like planets away. Today it is most essential for education. As our world grows in technology our world changes. Back then parents felt bad if they couldn't afford the cabbage patch doll. Now it's i pods, i phone, lap computers. Not necessary for a happy childhood I know. I am trying to make reference because you know children want what others want. It would be kinda hard for any parent to provide the mere basics in life when they do not have an education to land them a decent job. Pay for prescriptions if their child is sick. What if you have a child that needs extra attention? I think some may just be conveying harshly their concerns. The older generation knows the sweat and tears it takes. Would we do it all over again? Of course we would say yes. The road will be hard. I think the older ones giving advice is just trying to help the future generations to come. That being said it is up to you.