so my gf and i have been dating for almost 3 years and everything seemed to being going good(We live together and were planning our lives together.) She recently started a new job and made a bunch of new friends at that job.
It seemed like out of nowhere she said that she needed more space and that we were spending too much time together, after a week or so of giving her space and letting her do her thing she told me that she had cheated on me a couple times with someone from her new work.
I was crushed and couldn't believe that she would do that to me, its been the hardest time of my life I still love her so much and want to move past this but she doesn't seem to. I don't know if she just doesn't want to hurt me anymore, but she just says that she is confused, and wont give me a straight answer about us. Just want to get anyone's option about weather or not she will every take me back and if you can get past someone cheating in a relationship.
A guy tends to think things are good when he is getting what most guys want; a quiet and predictable life with the same stuff happening on the same days and a chance to take his girl for granted - that is after all, the sincerest form of flattery...
Not all guys of course at first but sooner or later most of us decide that is what we want and for some guys it is sometimes much sooner than later.
Lots of girls want that safe and dependable sort of life too with a safe and dependable sort of guy. Maybe your girl could feel herself slipping into a familiar routine and it scared her because she told herself she wasn't ready for that yet.
New blood at work could have given her a taste of something exciting she felt she was missing out on and she allowed herself to be talked straight out of her underwear. If she hadn't liked it or had total loyalty to you she wouldn't have allowed it to happen twice.
You can assume she did like it and she isn't totally loyal to you or maybe she was rebelling against the rut she felt herself falling into. Such a thing can be almost like a temporary insanity.
She says she is confused and I suggest you believe her. I expect she is torn between more of what she liked; excitement, freedom and sexual variety and her 3 year investment with you.
Yes you can get past cheating in a relationship if you want to and yes she might decide to settle down with you eventually but I speculate it will never be successful until she has got her confusion out of her system and by then you probably wouldn't want her back.
If she believed you was the right thing for her now she wouldn't be confused...
I advise you to remove the difficulty of a straight answer by telling her you realise while she is the right woman for you, you clearly aren't the right man for her yet, if ever.
I suggest you take a break for a while or simply part.