Medical Questions > Relationships > Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum

how to leave an abusive relationship

i have a controlling man. we have been together for around a year and a half and i care and love him it breaks my heart. He is controlling and obsessive from the get go and I ignored it as i have never been around people like that before. he is uncomfortable when I visit family members, friends and basically anyone i care about, I dont get it considering I am very understanding and know how important for the both of us to have time apart - its unhealthy. He has hurt me too many times,verbally and threatening and I know that I put up with it and now I resent him so much. I am torn, no way out. Guilt and sorrow is what I now feel, I just want him to realize what a toxic relationship we have and its the best for both of us. I broke it off today and now he said i have ruined his life as well as his son's- who lives with us. so unhealthy I just want him to agree that this is not going to work, he doesnt want to let go. I am lost and fragile. GUILTY....................I have never been this helpless, please i need advise.
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replied August 11th, 2011
i know EXACTLY how you feel honey..i was in an very physically and verbally abusive relationship for 3years and i loved him with my whole heart of course he wasnt abusive at first but he became very abusive in every way!! he even broke my collar bone and spit in my face..i still staye..stupid of me thinking he would change they dont!!! they never change you just get hurt over and over time and time again..u culd end up dead..n i know u dont think u can but its very possible..please forget how he feels for once!! did he care that he hit u?? move on, idc how hard it is..i still love my ex very much its only been a month but slowly im healing..get your mind right and love yourself thats the only way a man will ever love you the way you deserve..trust me..
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replied October 6th, 2011
I am going through the exact same thing. I am finally at a place in my life where I can leave my abusive boyfriend of 7 years. I have so much anger and resentment toward him. Now that I've told him that he has to move out (which I have said many times before) and I really mean it this time, he has been sucking up like crazy telling me all about how he will change for sure this time. No I'm second guessing myself and feeling guilty. He cries to me begging me to keep him around. He sulks around the house.
I read the book "When Love Hurts". It enlightened me and validated everything I was feeling. The book has given me the strength to take a stand for myself and our children.
Now with him begging me all day and crying, I'm wondering if I've made a bad decision. He has promised change many times in the past. And he never has. I need help to keep the strength that am making the right decision. Thanks
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