I hope that some of you can help come up with some ways to improve my relationship with my dad. So here are some of the facts/problems
1) even when he was little, he never helped me with my homework. When i go up to him and ask, he would just tell me to go away
2) he always acts on instinct, never think things through and just yells at me
3) he never helps out with the family, just sit on his couch, watch his tv shows, eat, and sleeps (doesn''t have a job)
4) whenever i hear his voice, i just get angry/annoyed
5) I kind of believe that he does not care for the family since well he never does help out
I have tried recently to try to improve the relationship but I just don''t know what to do. thanks for helping!
it takes TWO to hold a relationship together of any sort...have you two tried talking about this? maybe you should seek family couseling? It sounds like you are willing and want to form a better bond with him but aren't sure how, family counseling could probably help with this. The only thing is, if he isn't really interested and doesn't want to put forth the effort then theres really not much you can do...like i said, two people have to hold a relationship together, it cant be one sided...
I agree that it takes two to make a relationship work. I am willing to but it's just that he doesn't seem to be willing. I understand that I can't force it upon him to build up this relationship. I have been thinking about family counseling too. Thanks for the advice! =]
From your brief description of your father I suspect he might be depressed as he seems to be suffering some of the classic symptoms.
Depression is not something someone can simply snap out of. It can take great effort and determination to overcome and often need medical help in addition.
Someone who suffers from depression is like an addict - except the drug of choice for the depressive is misery.
It controls the life of the depressed person who just wants to be left alone in their self-made pit of despair and will say or do almost anything to be left alone.
I don't think your father is deliberately rejecting you or neglecting his family.
I suggest you do some research and perhaps ask the opinion of your family doctor. The family might have to gang up on your father in order to make an impact on his condition. Sometimes it might seem cruel and often seem as though it isn't worth the effort and it can be a lengthy task but ultimately the effort can be rewarding.
Being inactive and eating a less than healthy diet are ways depression thrives. Activity, creativity and a good diet are enemies of depression.
Depression is an illness of the mind and in most cases it is purely temporary.