Hi Everyone,
I hope you can help me after you read my story.
With my ex-girlfriend we were 2 and a half years together, and now we are seperated for two mounts. After serial intensed conversation between us she told me that she need time for her, to figure out what she want, and to clear things in her mind, just to disconect from everything. She values me very much because we passed together trough "fire and water" and we still did hold togheter. But I think that is one of the fundamental problems that lead to here. When we met we were like so inlove in each other, we did some crazy things, and we were soo free, even people on the street were stoping us to admire our love and happines, but after one year there were some problems not between us but in life, common things - dayly problems, health problems, financial problem and so one. I never changed my mind and behavior to her, I was the same, always there for her and helpfull in every situation, I've continued to be passioned to her in every situation. From one site we both were unhap
py about the arousin problems & not being able to consume our relationship fully, but I personaly don't regred (and she said the same) for the things that hapened, because that way we were able to know each other better in every situation, not just when there's fun or happy moment. From that moment on I realised taht this person is someone worth giving my love to, that I can trust her & that we can achive everithing we want with no borders. Things were geting serious between us, but than she got colder to me, she reduced doing things to me that I like, she almost stoped giving me presents and making me surprises. And I did everythin for her. Because of the problems that we had in life I wanted to make her happy & not only think about problems all the time, I did some surprises for her, I tried to fulfill her dreams and do all kind of things. She was happy about everything I did but she didn't responde back to me the same way she used to. The other problem is when she met me
she was just finishig a 7 year relationship with her ex. And at that time of her life she didn't want enything seious, she just wanted to have fun and enjoy life, cause she didn't had the chance to do it earlier. From the begining she didn't want anything serious with me, but after she saw that I'm vorth it, that I'm decent, not superficial and that she can rely on me, she didn't want to lose me (but at the same time she never wanted anythig more serious, but it just hapened). I just met her in the wrong time of her life when she wasn't ready for a new complete relationship. Since we are seperated I've made a balane of the things we both done for each other. I realised that I was "stifle" to her & that pushed her away from me, and all the other mistakes I did, I know she did mistakes to. I love her more that anything, maybe too much & I did most of the mistakes that you shouldn't do when you brake up (things that you mention in your presentation - I cryed, I beged her, told
her that I had change & I wanna second chance etc.). I realised that she realy needs time, and nothing I do won't make things better cause she dosent respond to anything I do. She's just colder to me, reserved, calls me like one time a week, we barely kiss (but it's not the same like before, its just like putting your lips to another). She wants to walk her dogs with me together or watch a movie sometimes, comes at my place, but never sleepover. She told me that she still loves me, but don't know if we can be together again. When we were together we did everything, we even started buying convenient things for my home, so we can enjoy things better. She's the only person that I met so far that I can speak with and realy listen to each other, we have so much things together, same taste for almost everithing & much more, that makes me think that I can be realy happy with her & I want to spend my life with her (Once she told me the same - That she sees her together with me for a
ll life).
Recently i realised that whatever happend between us I must act normal, and don't show how much I miss her, or give away my emotions, that if I love her I must realy give her space & let time show if we are ment to be together ("if you realy love a bird let it flyawy if it wants, if it loves you it will come back"). I don't want her to give me another chance, I want to start a new begining with her, without leting previous problem in our life (not to forget them, just to benefit from the conclusions that we made & move forward). I also thought about if she ever loved me or feels anything about me she must try to get me back & give me a reason to be together again. I think I've done enough, even more than enough to show her how I feel & what kind of a guy I am (I'm tired to fill a glass that's already full), from now on it's her move & she needs do deside what she wants.
At the beginig I was depressed, wanted even to throw my life away, but now I'm muck calmer after I realised many thing. I try to spend more times with friends and with miself, do stuffs that I like & it turns out great.
Since then she caled me to go out, or to come to me to watch a movie, two weeks ago we even had sex (for the first time since we broke up), but it wasn't the same, she wasn't shure if she wanted it was weird.
Today we went on a movie. When I took her from her place, we kissed but again just like putting you lips to another, after the movie we walked home, we laught, we even talked sex jokes, and I felt she notising me different, like before, she make me even a copliment, I acted normal and stady without giving my emotions & I felt good. Afted I walked her back we kissed again the same way.
Is ther anything else I can do to get her back, how can I get her want me, how to push her emotional trigers?
I'll be glad to hear your oppinion and your advice because the whole waiting kills me.
Thanks in forward & Kind regards