How to get over a divorce? (no kids)

I obtained my divorce in 1997, finalizing a process that started in 1993 when my ex first mentioned the "D word." While divorces are certainly obtained in a much shorter timeframe, I don't think that my experience is unusual for those with children of the marriage to consider and a career to keep them busy in other matters. I've learned quite a lot in the process, and would like to share my experiences with you in the hope that they might save you some time, money, and/or grief in your own divorce proceedings.

I'll caution that I have no legal training, and have tried to stay away from legal jargon as much as possible. Also keep in mind that not everything in this article will be relevant to your own situation. Consult a lawyer before getting into any actual separation or divorce proceedings.

My divorce took 1 day. I don't need advice on how to go through a divorce process.

Hi Casey1234 and welcome to ehealth: Yours is a tough question...How do you tell a woman how to "fall out of love"?...How do you explain that it will get better when she is sure that it won't?....How do you make something stop hurting that wakes you up in the middle of the night in panic?...I think these are the questions that you are asking...Forgive me if I am wrong...

First of all, it is over...He has found another woman and has moved on...Now it is time for you to either move on or stay in this place of unhappiness...My best advice to you is to get in with some close women friends...Join some groups where you may meet people....I would not suggest you go to the dating sites on the net as I have heard a lot of unhappy stories along this route...The one thing that never ceases to amaze me is how easy it is for a man to pick up the pieces and move on, whereas we women suffer...I truly believe that as we age we become more woman than we have ever been...A new person is born inside our soul...And you, my friend, are finding this new birth within yourself...I wish you well.....

Caroline

Hi again Casey1234...This post has been bothering me...I am an older woman and can understand your feelings...With my being in love it becomes doubly close to my heart...I have thought of this and want to suggest one thing...Why stay with men your own age?...Look at the younger male...It seems to me that more and more men are dating older women for many facts of life...One we have no baggage and second most of us are about as good as it gets...Dig deep...Find the confidence in yourself of youth...Learn to shine again...Don't look for a marriage partner, look for a partner...Play the field...Date to find friendship...Honey, you are young...Think this way and be happy....Men look to find happy women...They can tell if one is trying to hitch them up...Stay cool...Have the world on a string...In other words, be happy....

I hope a few of these words may make some sense...Take care...

Caroline

Hi CarolineEF,
Thanks for replying. I'm staying away from men on dating sites as the only ones I've met from there turned out to be unbelievable losers. I've given up; I'm not really healthy enough to be a good piece of fruit on the market!I I have diabetes, I am overweight; I do not have much to offer men my age who are so picky and all want slender young women. And no, I don't want a younger man, all for the above reasons. I've decided to just go it alone and if something happens to change that, well, it would be a miracle in my opinion. I guess miracles do happen sometime but I'm not doing the online dating thing EVER. Thanks again!

Hi Casey1234 and thanks for the note...Honey, I agree about the match making sites...My best advice is enjoy life...You are still young...If someone doesn't like a woman with diabetes then he isn't worth you...If they are picky and want a slender woman, then they are not your type...I believe people meet and enjoy each other, because they are so much alike...There fun to be with...Don't change...I send you my best wishes....Take care...

Caroline