We had a baby about a 8 months ago, and because we dont want to have another in the near future, we decided to go with condoms for our birth control method instead of having me go back on the pill which affects me lot.
For six months we didn't use them because I was nursing exclusively, and since we've used them *most* of the time. I'm under 10 lbs. away from my pre-pregnancy weight, and I really want to get back there before getting pregnant again so that I don't keep adding more baby weight on top of the last. I've been pretty successful with diet/exercise, and I really only think I'm a couple months away from being getting previous weight , but it's really important to me not to get pregnant until I'm ready.
My husband hates condoms because of the reduced sensitivity. I know this, but after looking at other methods, we decided that condoms are best, and he agrees to that until we're in the moment. Last night was really upsetting to me-- we had just discussed it AGAIN a couple days ago, and when the time comes, he bargains with me, saying next time he wouldn't complain at all if this time we could go without.He says he wont fire inside me but many times he did and said sorry after that. It only takes once, and I made him use one, but I'm sick of feeling like the bad guy, and having to argue about it in the middle of things really sucks the enjoyment out of sex.Every night he is bargaining and doing same thing.
Is there any way I can make them more comfortable for him or make him more willing to use them? Do most guys dislike condoms? We talked about it again this morning, but I don't feel the issue is really settled, so I'm expecting resistance again. I would use another method, but the pill can really mess with my moods, and it's such a short term thing that condoms really are the best option. I feel like he should just suck it up for a few months and be glad we're having sex on a regular basis. It's getting so frustrating, though, that I don't even want to do it as much because I don't want the argument.
He can put some lubricant on the inside of the condom as well. That transmits heat and sensation slightly better. Also try a different type of condom, for example, polyurethane if you are using latex ones.
You can make putting on the condom a part of the foreplay, or if he starts to bargain, just get the condom and start putting it on him. Or offer to do hand or oral sex until he feels ready for the condom. Sex and a relationship is not all about one party's wishes and needs. It is a partnership and you both have to agree on doing something. If not, one party will begin to resent the other.
As you are married and another baby will not be totally unwanted, a reasonable compromise is to use condoms during your fertile time, and go bare other times. Most couples on natural family planning (NFP) or fertility awareness methods (FAM) do this with great success. You do however have to know your cycles well. Your infertile time is normally the 10 days before your period and during your period. Depending on your cycle lengths, it can go slightly longer than your period. The two-day-wet rule can also be used as soon as you have wet cervical mucus for two days in a row, you should use condoms. As soon as you are dry for two days in a row, you should be infertile.
These methods are far from 100% effective. If correctly applied, it however gets very close to typical condom failure rates.
As you are married and in a stable relationship, a miss timed pregnancy should not be such a great issue, so you can afford to take some chances.
i'm a guy but i would say that when we want sex usually we have are way with things because the fuss we do make with things. but if you are having problems with him wearing condoms i would suggest giving him the choice on wearing the condom or pleasing you orally or something he doesn't do a lot so he doesn't have to wear it. my girlfriend does this with me and i would say it works about 80% of the time, i don't have a problem with oral but its the fact of when guys get off and wanting too. hope this was helpful to you