Hi Gracie,
It sounds like you may have some disordered eating patterns. You may want to see a therapist who specializes in eating issues to learn more about the way you are processing negative emotions. Many people have changes in eating when they are upset. You may also want to make sure you are no longer suffering from depression- so that you can learn what is at the root of your eating issues.

In my experience theropist dont really help much for me. Only one person has ever fully believed me as to why I get depressed, so I'm pretty sure a therop[ist wouldnt believe me either...
But what do you mean by disordered eating pattern?

i think she means you are skipping meals maybe? i think if you dont feel like eating or forget to have a cuppa soup or smoothy or thick shake should keep you going good. i have seen a lot of different therapists im my life and i must say most were no good but i did find 1 really good 1 who has helped me alot. the best one i found was a lady for womens mental health at a fertility place.

i hope you get better soon!

ok, I'll try to have soup and shakes and things like that. Do you have any suggestions on what?
And I guess I am kidding myself, I know most times that im not eating. But whenever I get depressed, food just makes me sick. Just the thought of food makes me want to gag, so maybe something light is the key, like soup... but most days I just dont want to stop not eating, you know? I guess its all a mental thing...
Thanks! : )

i feel the same some times i love food and other days i dont want to eat it, its just so easy to gain weight and so much harder to loose.

but i do think not eating can make depression worse or cause it.it could be like a circle: depressed-noteating-depressed-noteating.

think of the soups and smoothies ars meal replacements.

and also if you skip eating you could end up binge eating, eating everything you've missed out on then will feel guilty about that.

i have been skipping meals for about 13 years! its the only way i know how pretty much. i dont really think il ever change, but i wouldn't let it sacrifice my health.

you gotta be healthy to prevent cancer and other things!

I think your right, I think not eating makes depression even worse. Plus, ontop of some other things right now... well, lets just say im not in as good of shape as i let on around everyone. Even my best guy friend, whom I tell everything too, doesnt know how bad I am right now...

So yes, I will try and make those substitutons, like the soup and smoothies.

Binge eating? Thats acually a disorder? I used to eat everything and anything I could find whenever I was depressed, and I would feel absoulutly horrible while eating. I was so ashamed about it, and so I started to force myself not to eat. It's the only way I know how to not eat everything, it feels like I have no self control whenever something happened. And im not talking about if a guy didnt like me something happened, I mean like if I started feeling depressed again for certain things... I dont know how to fix myself...

thats why a psychiatrist could really be of help to you.
i was not in my control of how i would feel and ended up i have bipolar!

im not sugesting that you have bipolar or anything.

but my psychiatrist really helped me by making suggestions on how a balance in life is important and other sugestions to make life less complicated, along with medication.
im not at all ashamed of telling anyone i see a psychiatrist. its better than going crazy and losing whats important to you.

if you want to talk about whats bothering you let me know il give u my email address.

im not sure if binge eating is a disorder but i think thats how people get obese

if you get really upset maybe have a bath with all the best smelling stuff you can find, or read a book. or if your really angry bash a punching bag maybe?

also talking to your good friend should help i think, he can give you ideas on how to fix the situation or revenge?

anywayz i hope youl be feeling better soon!

What exactly does a psychiatrist do for you? I mean, when you go what do you have to do?

I really like listening to people, and if need be councel them, I do NOT like being counceled. I just feel like im wasting their time, and that they shouldnt have to listen to me... besides I wouldnt know what to say.

See, I dont get angry, I just get very stressed and worried and upset. Never angry, but if so its always anger directed at myself, never at anyone else. But because I am always so stressed out a whole bunch of other problems...

But yeah, my good friend who I was talking about has schitzophrenia, so he understands what i go through. But I just dont want to worry him. Its not worth it...

well for me my pschiatrist prescribed my medication and gave me advice to make my life more easy.

i was pregnant with my first baby and was worried if i would be capable of being a good mother. so she diagnozed me of having bipolar and just gave advice like:
stop selling avon, and have my boy friend not have so manny frieds over all the time. which drove me crazy i felt totaly dispespected from him having people over all the time.
and try to balance things, like equal amounts or work or rest for example.
just to make life as stress free as possible and she got me a private room in the hospital so i wouldnt get anoyed by sharing a room with 3 other new mums.

but yeah they are really expensive for some1 who just listens to how you are feeling and gives advice.

i dont see my shrink anymore because i moved away but i always think what would she recomend?
cause im having another baby, maybee twins. i think she would tell me to make alot of sacrifices i think to stay calm and in control when the next 1 or 2 arrive!

i dont really know what is making you depressed tho or what a shrink would recomend for you.

they would probably say if you feel like your getting a whole bunch of other problems,
right a list for organizing your day.
try to get enough sleep.
take time to relax as well as have fun.
dont work more than you can stand.
maybe get rid of some things you do in life that arent an obligation- like i gave up avon and will stop selling things on ebay for while, when i have the next baby.

like giving up some un important activities just till you get back on your feet, type thing.

but advice is just advice its if you decide to follow it or not.

if its people who make you feel this way, the only thing i could think of was to move away in my situation.

i think if your still feeling down you should see a doctor.

but just try to cheer up too, like watch some funny movies or go bowling or sing a happy inspiring song.

best wishes!
from Tameika

oh yeah i jus thought id add i didnt move away because of the people that i didnt like much.
it was for a better life for my family, im just glad i dont have to worry about there crap anymore! the people im talking about is my bfs family who i just dont like cause they suck, is the best way to put it

Oh, ok I see what you mean... but yeah your right, they are very expensive and my family cant afford that right now. Plus, that would also acually involve me telling them what is going on, and I think ill pass on that one...

But I guess you can say that im getting depressed because of people, in a way. See, people for some reason always feel comfortable telling me things, and I dont mind listening at all. I guess you can say I'm the councelor for most people. I can listen to them talk about things for hours and hours(and I have before). Even strangers, people I just met or barley know will tell me things that they had never told anyone before! I guess my problem is that it feels like God has given me ears to listen, but not hands to heal. I want to heal them so badly, and I cant. Whatever they tell me, it weighs heavy on my heart. It hurts me to see them in pain. I worry and stress over everyone and everything. That just sort of developed into anti-social things. I kind of feel like that I give people no choice to talk to me, so I just dont talk and if they need to talk to me they know where I am. I just feel so undeserving and worthless, and empty all the time. Then that resulted into cutting, and its all just not good. I know I shouldnt feel that way, but I do... thats just major reasons, some more little things go into that, but I think you get it...

(P.S. Congrats on the possible twins!) : )

thats not good about the cutting girl! i really think you should tell your family, i know you think they cant afford to help you and you dont think you are worthy. but seriously you are worthy and you're a very special person. Im sure they will help you what ever the costs may be id pay billions and sacrifice everything for my son im sure your parents would do the same for you SERIOUSLY.

i understand you feel like a councilor and thats very good the world needs people like you to listen to them.

i know it must be hard you really wish you could help these people but phisicaly cant, all you can do is trust that god will help them and fix there problems. i have learnt that trusting god is the only way for things to work out in any situation.

do you know what you want to be when you grow up yet?

it sounds to me like you are quite good at counciling people which is really great, it might help if you try to think of it like a job. so you can get a balace of woking & not working so you dont have it on you mind 24/7.

you need to find a way to direct your thoughts to somthing else as in clocking off from work, so this suff isnt on you mind all the time. that would be making you depressed
i know thats what your finding hard about these situations, you should see if you can find out how other people in a similar situaion wind down or try 2 forget about what they had experianced their day.

my mumsy works for auscare so she is looking after sick people all day. she would come home we'd all be happy and smiling then shed be like "this person died, this 1 hasnt got long to live" and a whole heep of other sad stuff. i had to say thats really sad and i do care but you need to clock off from work and not dwell on it. Or it gets her down and everyone around her. she sees a counciler about what goes on at work now because it is important to let it go.

i think it would be good for you if you can find out how to clock off from your situaions. maybe do some research on how councilers, shrinks and people like that clock off from their day till they go back to work.

and pray for the people you want to be helped then trust that the will get all the help they need and move on 2 somthing fun. k

and i really think you should tell your parents it will help you very much.

i really hope everything will be ok and i wish the very best for you.

Do you usually give advice to people who confied in you?
if so, Think if some1 felt how you do what advice would you give them?

I'm really, seriously debating on tellingy youth pastor, cause I look at him like my father... but he would have to tell my family. I dont really see the point in telling them! I dont want any of that attention, it's all very much unwanted...

But yeah, I'll look up stuff about how councelors deal with their patients problems and what not, and how they deal with it. It might help, thanks.

And no, I dont really know what I want to do yet... I'm sort of thinking about going into Seminary. And if you dont know what that is, its basically a pastor school, where you learn to be any kind of pastor... I really have no idea. I dont know me very well, haha. Sounds weird, but its true.

Ok, I think that clocking off thing might help, I'll pray and try that...
(P.S, I'm sorry im not writing a lot. But im just kind of speechless on how to respond to your last message. THat was a lot to take in...)

Thanks,
Gracie.

Maybe, hun, you intoxicate your mind when let everyone to tell you their problems. You need a place and time for yourself. The world is over in need of someone to feed and hear it, but you need to recover yourself. If you don't, you get depressed. Maybe your body refuses food, cuz it's another external thing and oyur mind feels that any external thing you recieve is toxic for you (strange theory of mine)...
Try to get places for you and only yoy, music, yoga, painting, whatever that makes you recover inner equalibrium...Ah, and if you can, try eating a little thing that makes you feel happier, I used to eat chocolet hahah but I'm a bit sick, so only choco flavoured milk for me
Take care! And good luck!

Wow, thats an interesting theory. I had a theory simular to that one, but who knows. Your probably right, its kind of like if you think or hear one thing over a long period of time over and over again, then you start believing it to be true. My sisters arent, umm...very nice to me. Wheither they realize that or not is whatever, they still say things that after awhile I started to believe. And then all of my hurting friends..man, if I could take away their pain and carry it, I would in a heart beat, no problem. But I cant, so I just sit there and watch, holding their hand through it all...
I dont deserve to be happy, my job is to help others, in any way. Haha, the only happiness I do have is my youth group, there my family and learning and playing instruments, including my voice. Right now im larning how to play acustic guitar, since I know acustic I know electric. Hopefully I'll be learning bass soon, and im hoping in the future I shall learn drums. Oh, and im also learning piano right now. I'm hoping to take a ceramics class at the high school, I love pottery, and hoping to make it a hobby But thats what I got going for me...haha, I say I dont deserve to be happy, and here I am listing all of the things that make me happy. I dont deserve them, but I have them. And I couldnt be more thankful for them. I just feel guilty when im happy...

This was how my eating disorder started out, as well. I never wanted to eat because eating made me feel sick when I was depressed. I had no interest in food and anything I could do to avoid it was key. Not because i was trying to lose weight, though...just because i didn't want to deal with the fact that I did not feel like eating and suck it up and try it. I was too busy contemplating my depressed thoughts...but not eating leads to continued depression and ontinued to depression leads to not eating and eventually you realize you like being thin and then it's just about not eating...

Carry lots of little snacks around with you and eat them one at a time throughout the day. Eventually, your mood will lift and your stomach will get used to having food in it again without it being an overwhelming amount all at once. Eating will speed up your metabolism as well, which helps with weight loss if that is your goal. You won't lose weight by continuing not to eat. Your body will simply go into starvation mode and hold onto its fat stores at all costs. I don't think that's your goal, here.