That just means he's comfortable with you. You've probably changed a lot too unless you aren't comfortable with him.

Yes i have changed infront of him being more comfortable, But there is being comfortable and completely changing in to a lazy fat pig,
since i have been with him i have gain some weight like 2 kilos but the doctor told me too because i was underweight anyway,But i will always try my best to look after myself not just for myself but for him,
Im just asking what there is i can do to mentally deal with theses changes that are happening so fast to the guy i love and want to spend the rest of my life with, but im starting to find him unattractive

well you try 1-2 things.

1.Try Finding out why he has let himself go. Since he wasn’t always like this something must be going on. Maybe hes depressed about work or a relationship. How has your communication and sex life been? Something in him snapped, otherwise he wouldn’t have stopped caring about himself.

2. Or you could try and change him. Now trying to change a man hardly ever works. We are know that men change when They want to.

Besides that all you can do is accept him for the man he wants to be or leave him. That to me sounds a little harsh. I think something is up with him and he might just need your support and understanding to feel better about himself. Talk to him and see what happens.

If you are not sexually attracted to this man enough that you would push a peanut down the block with your nose, do not marry him....He must be your sexually hot turn on...Must make you wet when you think of doing him....Must be all the things that you fell in love with years ago or you have troubles....

This is just my opinion, but what my husband still does to me after all these years is a sin...Yet saying this...He dresses for me...Does not let his weight get too high because it would hurt our sex life...Shaves and smells good...Hey, I have nothing against a nicely trimmed beard or mustache, but he is a clean shaven man...He is what I fell in love with and if I squint, I can see him as all my yesterdays....I will be the devil's advocate on this Topic....I believe you are entirely right...I will even go a step farther...Good thinking before you take the final step...Who he is now will get worse...It just plain happens......Just part of life...

Again, just my thoughts...
Caroline

I think you should sit him down and talk to him about it tell him your feelings because he should know what you are feeling about him before you get married....If you cannot talk to him about it then I suggest you have a think whether you should be married..Good luck Jenny

as for the gaining weight thing heres a tip...go work out together...my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few years now as well and i think we can both agree that we've packed on a few pounds..i think its just bc we're comfortable with each other..it happens haha..but we go work out together, its really motivating bc if he's eating healthy I eat healthy or feel guilty the rest of the day lol..if he goes to the gym, i get my butt outta bed and go w/him bc it motivates me..and it really changes your entire day, it makes you feel so much better and its amazing what 30 on a treadmill can do for ya...communication is KEY..if there are certain things you dont like...calmly bring it up, but be careful how you approach it bc it could cause him to get defensive..if he isn't gonig to change now..he never will..and if you marry him..dont expect life to be a fairytale

When you are out shopping just tell him:
" Gee... clean shaven, fit guys really turn me on..." That will motivate him!

I have been thinking about this Topic since I first wrote my post...I feel there is something deeper here....Something not being said...An inner fight going on that you are battling with yourself to find fault with your lover....I am probably wrong, but you said to make our comments...That is mine...

My reasoning...This would never had happened to us as we never lived together and married less than a month after he got out of the service...I knew him and he would not have grown lazy and not shaved...If he would have, he would have had to deal with me...That could have been like dealing with the wrath of God...As far as the weight...I gained 60 pounds after my pregnancy and he waited many years for me to loose it...Just a little over two years ago he lost 50 pounds as he was pre-diabetic...We both still fight our weight...However, in this process I found out how much more sexual a man can be when he is down to his normal hot football player weight...You see, after all these years, he is my lover...

These are the things that you need to get married...You must be willing to fly to the moon with him on a minute's notice and many years later be able to look at him and see the boy in the man....and still love him with all your heart and soul....

I wish you my best...
Caroline

First of all, it think that maintaining your health is really important. Sexual attractiveness is important too.. because you cant help not being attracted to a scruffy beard and to hug a beer belly instead of your man.

I understand what you are saying. My husband is in the Army and he has actually been the one to push me to more healthy. We slack once in a while, and gain weight from time to time. But nothing drastic, we are comfortable enough with eachother to say .."hey choncho! ease up on the 3rd helping of cake!" haha its kind of funny, but we keep eachother in check, because it is important for him to look sexy for me, and for me to look sexy for him

and its important to stay healthy physically and emotionally. find out if hes depressed, beging comforatble is okay, but show him that you are inspired by working out, and that you want a workout partner. It might give you two some time to be together and sweat a litte! have a little competativeness i think thats healthy! haha and keeps things fun and interesting.


Good luck with everything, please post and let us know how things are going!


izzy

Hey
Thanks for all the reply i plan on talking to him and see what he has to say about why hes let hiself go, If there is a reason behind it etc.
Also i will talk to him about being more active.
As for the question from Rosie, there is no sex life as we are catholics, No sex before marriage.