How to end a 20 yr realationship but still be friends

Pack a suitcase, stay with family or friends, get medical support for your abuse. Get a place on your own. Expect that it's going to be a very long time before you can have a healthy working relationship. They say it takes 6 months to get over every year of your relationship.

he has practically moved into my place i don't want to get my family or friends involved but i want him to leave last argument we had he asked me if i wanted him to leave i said yes he packed his bags lft but was back the nxt day i came home from work he was there asking me not to turn my back on him and he needs me in his life. I'm so stressed i have headaches, muscles in my neck are so tensed, i just want him gone but i want to be his friend.

You also want to not be smacked around by someone you're emotionally invested in and to be able to have a healthy relationship with a man at some time in your life. maybe when you both have recoverred from this relationship you can have a friendship togather but until you get help he is a poison in your life. You cannot heal while you're constantly being poisoned. you need to be physically removed from this man and have no additional contact with him and you need to get help.

he knows that you want him to leave, i dont know if he is in a situation where it would be hard for him to leave right now.
were you able to change your locks the day that he left so he wouldnt come back. i dont know if you live in an apartment. the next time ask for your keys back.
you have to have that serious conversation without arguing and just tell him how you feel. it's not fair that you have to live like this being miserable where it's effecting your health.
i think that yall were better friends and not as a couple. living with someone is a whole new ballgame.
so again, does he have a place that he can go, if so tell him he has to leave because it's not working out.