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How to deal with my Bipolar Husband?

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Hi,

My husband suffers from bipolar disorder and I don't know what else to do to deal with his moods, anger, lack of feelings, changing of mind and depression.

He has had so many bad episodes since we got married. I have change my life for him and he is always making promises. But when he is having one of his episodes he always blames me for everything, gets angry with me, shutters me down, don't want to talk or tell me what is wrong and make me so angry to the point I start having anxiety symptoms.

The biggest issue is that now he is in another country and we had a big fight a day ago and I have tried everything to make him talk but he just don't answer his phone and don't want to talk. I have tried everything and I'm even thinking about leaving him without saying anything, so by the time he comes back he will see that I'm gone, but the problem is that all my family and friends are in another country far away and I love him soooo much. I always get scared with the idea of leaving him, because when he is not having his bad days he is a lovely and caring husband.

Please help me!!! I don't know what to do next..... he hasn't called me, or emailed me, or messaged me since yesterday. I really need to know what should I do, because I don't even know the reason why he is angry with me.
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First Helper katbertolino
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replied June 4th, 2011
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My friend, Bipolar is a disaster. My ex is BP as well, he has all the symptoms you listed.im his 4th woman, meanign he has lost 3 relationships already. He presents lack of feelings, shutting me up when i want to explain something, changing mind every five minutes, anger for nothings, breaking up with me, switching the phone off,disappearing for days, etc. I dont communicate with him any longer. Only you will know what is the best now, I also love him soooooo much and find hard to live without him, but it was getting a little too hard too to live with him.
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replied June 4th, 2011
Thank you so much for your help!!
I'm already thinking what to do next....
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replied July 20th, 2011
My husband is bi polar too
Remember that bi polar is a sickness, not a choice. My husband and the father of my son is just like your husband. I am at the end too but am not sure that leaving is the right thing to do. Find a doctor and talk to him/her and tell all about what is going on. Then somehow get your husband to see the doctor. I know that this will be the hardest part for me to make happen but I love my husband and when I said I do I meant it in sickness or health! I pray that all works out for you, I really do! Good luck!
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replied June 6th, 2011
Well first of all you already recognized that its bipolar and that he cant control his mood swings. I would say that communication is the key to most relationships. When hes not in one of his episodes try talking to him about how you feel when he is going through a mood swing. My boyfriend of 3 years isn't bipolar, but he is surely hot headed! When he gets angry I would apologize and allow him to cool down. And once hes not as upset he will see things clearly and if they were his fault he would apologize to me. Its difficult at times to be the one to always calm yourself down, but if you love him its definitely worth it! One thing that would help is for him to realize that hes getting too worked up and to take a moment to breathe for 10 seconds. I have a friend who needs to do this and it usually helps. People would try to help him when hes trying to calm down which would make him more angry so just let him have his space for a few and it should get a bit better. Right now it seems like your husband is taking more than just a few minutes to calm down. I would send him one text message or voice mail telling him that you two need to have a serious talk. Not trying to threaten him, but you honestly feel like you two need to talk about things and ways to improve your relationship. If he doesn't respond, try keeping yourself busy until he does? I agree with Reggiane though, only you will know what truly is best for your relationship. I could be wrong about you leaving 1 text and maybe you feel like you should continue to keep trying to get a hold of him. I hope my advice was of some help to you. The best thing to do is to prevent the huge arguments and to work on ideas on how to calm down and talk about things rather then scream and shout. Good luck!
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replied July 21st, 2011
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try to adjust with him
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replied July 22nd, 2011
My husband is bipolar. we've been married for over ten years. I wished I had left. He is now in a nursing home. If you are going to stay with your husband. You will need to do a few things.

1. Evaluate yourself
1a. Give yourself space and enjoy time with friends and family. If not family, friends.
2. evalute your relationship with him. It is a disease and he will not change. He needs constant medication as well as counseling.
3. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
4. When he has his episodes, do not let it get out of control.
5. If you have done all you can, do yourself a favor and go. Love does not cure bipolar, nor does it change a person to do the right thing.

This is not the best advice. Please do not blame yourself and do not feel guilty when you can not help him. He will always need medical help and it will get worse if he does not address his disease.

Best of Luck!
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replied July 22nd, 2011
My husband is bi-polar as well and if you are getting anxiety then its time to go. Its not your fault that he is sick. I know that it is hard to leave but you need to put your self first or you will go crazy. I have decided to finally leave my husband yesterday because he goes through crazy points of leaving, lying and distroying so if your husband doen't get help and stick to it you need to leave.

I hope that everything works out for you!!!
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