Hi folks. I recently had a young girl ask me how to tell her friends and parents that she was a member of the GLBT community. That is always a touchy subject and should be handled delicately. Here is what I came up with. Hope it helps any one who is going threw this difficult phase of life.
â¢ Accept Yourself First. Accepting to yourself that you are bisexual or gay is one of the biggest dilemmas you have to face when the issue of sexuality arises. If you plan to come out from the closet and tell the world that you are indeed gay, you have to be confident first in admitting that you are, or else people will just shrug their shoulders thinking that you are just undergoing a phase that you will soon get over. Show them that you may have different sexual orientation but you are still proud of who you are. Instead of opening the topic with eyes lowered as if you have committed a crime, look at them straight in the eye with dignity. In this way, they will have the perception that you are sure about what you are saying, thus earning you their respect for being honest.
â¢ Be Ready For the Consequences. Any action has a corresponding reaction so bear in mind that revealing your true self to everyone has its own upshots. Ask yourself first if you are ready for the results of your decision. If your answer is âNoâ then quit the idea of coming out or just delay it until you are not prepared to accept harsh words or rolls in the eyes from the public or even from your friends.
â¢ Come out First to People Whom You Trust. Friends are usually the best persons to come out first, however, be sure they are your close friends and not just any acquaintances in school or office. On the other hand, if you feel anxious in coming out to a large group of friends, consider coming out to them one by one or by twos. You can easily spot in the group if who are the open minded ones so make them the first in your list. Do let them know that your confession of being a gay does not change you and your friendship. Knowing that you have a friend who supports and understands you will later on give you the confidence to face the world with head up high regardless of who you are. If it goes the other way around, maybe they are not really true friends.
â¢ Be Lenient in Coming out to Parents. Admitting to your parents that you are gay is the most nerve wracking part of coming out. Although they have been the most understanding and supportive parents in the whole world, dropping them the bomb about your sexual orientation does not always assure a positive reaction from them. Nevertheless, it is always a nice feeling of unloading yourself from the emotional turmoil inside especially to your folks, so bring it on. You may start with a discussion on a movie about gays and ask their opinions about it, this way, you will know their stand on the said issue. Remember, you donât have to come out to both of them at the same time. If you feel more comfortable in confessing to your mom first about your sexuality, then admit it to her first then ask her support later on if you feel like coming out to your dad already. On the other hand, accept the fact that they will also need time to take in what you have just confessed just like what you have undergone during your self acceptance. Anticipate angry, surprised, defensive, shocked and denial feedbacks from them. Theyâre just normal reactions; give them some space to think and to come out to themselves as well.
Alternatively, if you are still being supported by your parents whom you feel will surely disown you when you come out, it is more sensible to come out to them when you already have a job that can support you and your needs.
â¢ Donât Mind Others. Face the fact that not all people are open minded especially on sexuality issues, but donât let them hold you back. A few inconspicuous whispering about you wonât kill. Whatâs important is you and your feelings and what they think and say does not matter anymore.