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How to break up with Engaged Man...

OK, so I have posted a topic in the dating forum about my situation with a friend who got engaged in July and we started an affair in August...

I have decided to end the affair, I feel like crap when he leaves and I fear that if I fall in love with him he won't be able to give me what I want and need.

So... how do I break it off with him? I can't see him because we get all mushy and we get in our own little world. I know we would end up having sex and then I wouldn't be able to go through with it.

Should I text him and if so what do I say? I've never broken up with anyone (always the other way around)... Do I tell him how I feel and then say stop calling, texting and keep his distance at work?

Thanks in advance Wink
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replied November 10th, 2011
Extremely eHealthy
It is really great that you are realizing that this isn't a good relationship and that you need to end it. If you have to break up impersonally (like through email) because it won't work in person, then that's the way it has to be.

After that, you have to be the one to enforce the distance between you. If you have to change your phone number or block his number, then do it. If you have to ignore him at work or even start looking for another job, then do it. You have to make it a clean break with no back slide, otherwise he's going to get mixed-messages.

After a while, after you've given yourself a chance to heal and to figure out who you are and what you want out of a relationship, you can find a different guy who is all yours and you can feel good about that. No guilt, no fear, no sneaking around. Wouldn't that be so much better? Plus, if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you. Would you ever really trust him, even if he were all yours? That's no way to live.

You deserve better than what you have now and he does too, he just may not know it. Be strong. It'll hurt like hell for a while and you're going to want to take it back, but you'll get through it and you'll find better in the future. Smile
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Tags: an affair, august, sex
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