My circumstance and the material facts: I have been taking adderall for about six months. My tolerance almost immediately became noticeable as I was abusing them. I am a property claims adjuster and we often work 12+ hours/day.
In the past 48 hours, I have consumed 26 of the 30 Adderall 30mg ir tablets making up the most recent script, or 780mgs consumed. In just under 48 hours. This is the most I've ever taken, I believe my tolerance is equivelant to someone who takes around 270mg/day.
I am very high on an "adderall buzz" right now, but I know in 24 hours my body will be starting the path of a long and painful withdrawal. I ran out one month ago, for three days, and remember telling my NA sponsor "it feels like there is no reason to live if not on adderall." and sleeping all but a couple hours each day. This is after only 6 months of being on Adderall at all!
I've read as much as possible and found people's experience with Adderall withdrawal vary from one extreme to the other. Spent hours researching into different testimonies to discover everyone is different. Which I knew.
I'm posting this to request a professional, or anyone who is familiar with this topic please advise me of the best thing to do right now and how long should this last given my scenario? Currently I have 4 30mg ir's and 8 10mg Focalin ir's. Keep in mind I cannot taper myself down from Adderall if it is in my house. I'm head over heels addicted.
i was on it for 4 years straight at 140 mg per day, i would regulary take more up to 1000mg per day. I lost 150 lbs in 1 year from 330 to 180 lbs at 6'3. My wake up call from overdosing came as my life had literally been stripped down to the bloody bones and the empty feeling of worse than nothingness was there, its never left, I recommend never taking a amphetamine as it brings out the worst in anyone eventually, the higher the dose the worse the effect. It's like trading your soul for the drug. I'm still in recovery 3 years later and I don't have any motivation or care for life, not that i did before i was on it. its highly addictive, you either love it or hate it, the physical withdrawals at that high of a dose can leave you suffering badly for 3 weeks, the mind takes much longer to heal, you'll need a full year to get your mind anywhere close to normal after those mega doses.
I'm doing a little better than expected, got prescribed norco for something unrelated. Norco is for pain but helping with the depression. I slept from midnight last night straight through to 4pm today. My only option is to quit everything and live clean..
Thanks for your reply Sappy, I thought about it today quite a bit. I also lost significant weight but it didn't feel good, seems like if you don't earn the weight loss by eating healthy and exercise, then you don't appreciate it (kind of like $). your weight fluctuation is/was much more but I understand the point you were making. Question for you Sappy: Are you abstinent from every kind of narcotic now? You said three years from adderall but thats it.
Whats with ehealthguide's reply?? I'm not sure delivery from sexual intercourse and hormone cycle info is going to pertain here. But the other info was useful regardless. Plus this forum is very helpful, ehealth is a great asset and free, much in debted..
Norco I believe you are referring to hydrocodone, yes it will temporary relieve pain and or depression as physical and mental pain are processed through the same nueropathways in the brain. You're body will fairly rapidly adapt to the narcotic pain relievers and you will find a gradual need for more and more to treat the depression. This is definitely not a good way to deal with depression as this leads to major substance addiction/abuse and the higher the doses the harder the withdrawal and harder it is to quit taking them. From what I gather you seem to be similar to me in the fact that you exhibit typical addictive personality traits. The only way to ever be free of the substances is to by quit taking them all together. I have had some hyrdo's prescribed in small doses here and there, and other anti depressants have not proved effective to treat depression in my case. You are right about earning it', it is harder but it is worth it. If you are able to quit taking these yourself cold turkey chances then good luck to you, if not you should try a rehab clinic or a NA (narcotics anonymous group) these options do help, you can call your local doctors office or hospital for free resources on this. I hope you are successful. It takes time to heal, the more time you put behind you free of the addiction the less you will crave, if you feel weak, call a friend. Be well
Thanks, good info. Just to note, familiar with NA, I'm 28, in Summer of 2001, almost exactly 10 years ago! Was the beginning of Heroin addiction. First detox was Grand Rapids, MI in June 2001. Just remembered this because the Bulls are dominating the playoffs. I didn't sleep for FIVE nights in a row, since I was barely 18, they gave me nothing at all to help! Was on up to $70/day of H.
This was my first and worst withdrawal ever. Anyways in the next 18 month I went to jail for 20 days, moved to my dad's in San Francisco, became homeless in SF, went to the year long "Narconon Arrowhead" program in Oklahoma. After Narconon, entered and graduated with a bachelors in business, moved to Chicago three years ago.
Thanks you all, now I want to help others b/c your posts helped!
Dutch82 - Do you have an update of your progress?
Regardless if you all want me to, I will pray for all of you above. Prayer and faith in the Lord has been the ONLY thing that has helped me. Think I'm a Jesus freak? I don't care. I'm not and I didn't come here just to preach. I just want to share b/c I'm finally not ashamed about it and just want to help whoever I can. God was who was there for me when my friends were not (during my addicition to amphetimenes) to tell me I didn't need the drug to be better at life.....but at 20 I did what satan wants us to do..I took college into my own hands so that I could become a CPA. Little did I know that it was one of satan's biggest tricks....tricking you into thinking "I can take this into my own hands and be successful!"
Times God tried to warn me that I didn't need Vyvanse or Adderall to become a CPA:
1. My conscience at the doctor's office after I was being honest about my symptoms was so hard to ingore after my experience with the doctor. I filled out the little 'checklist'. When the doctor didn't even hardly read my completed checklist (which was the ONLY thing I had to do before getting the 'golden ticket' to what my doctor told me would give me the "window of opportunity that would last a good 12 hours everyday" - kid you not that is what he told me and I was only 20!!) I knew right then and there that I was not protected by the doctor and that if I decided to take it, I would probably be the only one down the road that could say I didn't need it. He never cared at my checkups or noticed my drastic/quick weight loss. I even went almost 2 years without a check-up just because my doctor was from my small hometown and I was friends with his children (whom ALL take the drug and one is a doctor, one a financial analyst, and a pharmacist-and they all admit they don't need the drug.. it is just like a 'work steroid' for the workplace!)
2. I noticed it changed my mind in not caring for others. While on the meds, I couldn't always try to act as Christian due to the irritableness and the inability to deal with slower people. I could no longer have sympathy for anyone with ignorance. Prior to that, I always had sympathy, cared deeply for others, and always wanted to lend a hand (just like I was raised to be a Christian). My conscience tried to tell me that although I was getting my first A in an accounting course for my BS, the drug was dangerous and was slowly changing my good points to bad points. God tried to tell me by showing me signs that I couldn't be the dear friend I used to be (which of course caused me to lose a vast majority of my friends). How could that be if I was taking something to well, make me perfect??? Yeah, I know you all have felt that way from this stupid drug.
3. After going 2 months without Vyvanse, I started graduate school where I wanted to "do it all alone, no more vyvanse!". After 1 month in, I decided I was sub-par compared to others and that I must need the meds. Think God didn't try to warn me before I relapsed?? You can't tell me it was a 'mere coincidence' that when I finally got my car oil change on my car (the morning after picking up my long awaited 'golden Rx ticket for more 50 mg vyvanse) I sat in the oil change waiting room. I look up and the tv is playing a special on "Girls addicted to adderall and vyvanse." The entire time I waited for my car to be ready, I sat and listened to girls who had suffered all of the effects of adderall and how it ruined their lives. My stomach dropped and I thought, crap, is this another sign to not take it? But I'm about to start the CPA exam (I thought) and how in the world am I going to pass without my crutch??? The girls on the tv show explained why they risked losing everything and how they just wanted to be perfect. I ignored the show even though I knew everything those girls were saying was true and that I was really taking a risk by starting the Vyvanse again. Nothing stopped me though..even knowing I would later pay the price....but getting those A's and passing the CPA exam was more important! Oh how foolish I was!!!!!
I will never forget after being on it from 2/12/11 to 4/24/11. I remember I was thin, energetic, and making killer grades. You know what I also remember, although I looked great and had many friends, I sat alone at night crying and feeling lonely. I try to remember the lonliness when I desire to be thin and perfect again and want to go get another perscription. That's the other issue, how easy it is to get the perscription even after the recent changes in the "Mandatory 6 month check-ups prior to perscription refill".
Hope the above novel helps someone or anyone. I have quit taking vyvanse and adderall after being on it for nearly 5 years. I quit cold turkey and have been able to keep my job and everything. How?? My walk with the Lord. He is the only one that I don't feel judges me for all of the stupid things I did over the five years of my addiction. He forgives me for lashing out on people and becoming such a heartless person and being so completely selfish. I pray for the Holy Spirit to be with me when I am weak and begin thinking I need my crutch again or I won't be good enough for things in life. It isn't easy, but prayer works.