For the schizophrenics in here: Are your voices any different from they way they were in the beginning? Worse? Better?
My voices terrified me in the beginning -- not being able to escape their 24/7 torture was absolutely horrifying. It took a while before I realized the voices are a fabrication of my own mind and *not* a physical threat from an outside source.
Eventually, the voices became somewhat entertaining -- they would say the funniest and most dramatic things, and I would make fun of them. I also made them say goofy things, which was my way of getting even with them. Tee hee. I even gave them dorky nicknames.
Then, they were pretty much annoying... It's like OK, show's over...
Now, the voices are just plain boring. I rarely even "hone in" or pay attention to them anymore. They are pretty much like a TV playing in the background -- I mess around with them when I feel like it, and they fade in the background when I need to concentrate on other things.
I'm just curious to see how the voices have evolved for the rest of the schizophrenics in this forum.
I guess "funny" wasn't the best description of my voices, as they don't exactly crack jokes themselves. They are absolutely serious and take themselves very seriously. I suppose you'd have to be in there to get the gist.
My voices happen to be a bunch of dumb*sses, and they say the stupidest things -- I just simply call them on it. When they complain about things, they are the whiniest "people" on the planet. So... I make fun of them. Can you blame me? They are asking for it. It actually makes them mad when I make them say cutesy things. But again... They are asking for it. What can they do about it? Absolutely nothing -- they are trapped in there and at my mercy.
As for assigning goofy nicknames... Well... It is always something that suits their "personalities"... To a T.
My schizophrenic voices are overly dramatic and SO over the top sometimes, it is downright funny. They can be very entertaining, when I'm bored.
Whenever I think, "That's terrible!" The voices translate it out loud in my head as, "That's terrifying for everyone involved!" The situation calls for terrible..... it is not so bad that it is *terrifying*. We've gone round and round about that one.
Or, whenever I think something is horrible... The voices translate it as, "It's horrifying for everyone involved!" Again, overly dramatic. It's as if they are escalating the issue and making it out to be worse than it actually is. It was funny the first 1,000 times or so. Nowadays, I just roll my eyes.
They whine about my cleaning habits. I'm a neat-freak, and everything needs to be in its place. To give you an idea, my last long-term boyfriend told me my home is like a museum, and that was pre-schizo symptoms. But! I'm hardly OCD... Now, I clean even *more* just to shut the whiney butts up. If there is a tiny piece of fuzz on my carpet, they won't shut up until I pick it up. Sometimes, I pick it up to get some peace and quiet. Other times, I leave it there just to bug them. Eventually, I pick it up, because well... it eventually bugs me as well.
I will tell you the nickname of only one of my voices. Her name is "Harpyass", as she gripes all the time, never changes character -- a very bitter and unhappy person. She is my most annoying and least favorite voice. If you're an SNL fan, she is sort of like the little "Debbie Downer" character. She rarely amuses me, mostly annoys me. If she were a real person, I'd be looking at her like, "Who asked you?" The problem with her is she is the most difficult to manipulate -- I have the hardest time forcing her to sing or say cutesy things. When it happens, though, it is like a MAJOR triumph for me. HA!
As for the rest of the nicknames... I am hanging onto those for personal reasons. There is a tiny part of me that hopes these *are* actual people I'm conversing with. If I meet up with them someday, the nicknames I have assigned to them will be their only validation, the only proof. Sounds silly, I know, but hey! I *am* schizophrenic after all.
It would be SO cool, if it turns out we schizophrenics are actually a bunch of telepaths after all. I mean, there is no comprehensible explanation as to why we are hearing these voices, yet we hear them plain as day. I don't buy that whole "the voices aren't real, they aren't there" deal. I hear them, therefore, they *are* real -- I just don't know where they are coming from.
There is no proof we *aren't* telepathic. I say it could go either way. But... again... it could just be the schizophrenia grandeur talking.
At one point, I actually pictured the voices coming from telepathic comatose patients looking for a bit of entertainment. If they are, indeed, real people... Nobody has the time nor the inclination to spend bugging me 24/7. I mean, they are literally at my beck and call, any time, day or night, including all major holidays. Comatose patients have nothing but time. Think about it...
Making me angry or having me correct them when they are overly-dramatic helps the comatose patients keep the telepathic connection. They don't necessarily *want* to make us angry... For me, when I concentrate on making them sing or say cutesy things helps strengthen my connection. Especially when I'm working over Miss Harpyass -- she really makes me concentrate.
I could go on and on about my theories, but the telepathic comatose patients are the only ones even close to having the time or inclination to annoy me 24/7. I say they just want to be entertained and don't mean any harm by it all.
You know... I've noticed the voices are really quiet when I'm in conversation with an actual person. It's like they are listening in, being entertained by the whole thing. Or... when I'm concentrating on something...
The more I think about it... Perhaps it really is comatose patients hitching a ride, and we are their windows for entertainment.
Thats a great nickname for a voice i think, id much like to hear them all, but I guess that Ill have to wait.
What an interesting theory that you have there, comatose patients, brilliant!
I didn't realize that that was what they were complaining about, that is whiney. Clean this up, wahhhhhhh!
Go easy on the downers, I think that they are just having a hard time, I actually don't mind them, because they seem to be smarter than everyone else.
It's just like ren and stimpy, they were made for eachother, don't ask me why, and the dumb cat was happy and the smart dog was sad.
If I said that something was horrible, and they expounded honestly and truthfully on it, I would just agree, maybe they are trying to tell you something, not only that, it would depend on what was being talked about, some things require dramatics I would say. As long as it was of importance, not a piece of fuzz on the carpet.
They actually whine about more than just my cleaning, but if I were to explain it all, I'd end up writing a book.
I'm *not* going to go easy on my voices. Why should I? They certainly didn't go easy on me. What goes around, comes around, yadda yadda yadda. They are asking for it. And trust me... My voices are *not* smart -- they are all just a bunch of dumb*sses trying to get my attention.
Maybe they are all bored being trapped in there like that -- who knows. They need me to break the monotony.
Our own assessment of any situation should take precedence over the declarations of the voices. We *know* when we should be praised or ridiculed, regardless of what the voices say.
If I feel the urge to argue even the tiniest bit with anything the voices have to say, that's my clue that I am defending what I know to be right. If I felt *they* were right, I wouldn't feel the urge to argue, etc.
I learned a long time ago it is counterproductive and very time consuming to argue with the voices. Instead, I make a snap judgement based upon the simple urge to argue or to acquiesce.
In the end, their opinions really have no bearing, as I am not out to impress them anyway.
my voice doesnt really change its the same ol im going to kill you or hurt you i hate you the only diffrence is lately i seen her. which let me tell you i almost wet myself. its happen a handfull of times but i just chalk it up to me being on no medications
thanks =) yeah i got no choice but to lol the bi*ch is driving me crazy tho she wont let me sleep she is always just there. i hope she stops critizin me and starts to make me laugh lol that would be intresting
I really like Christina's take on things, and agree that it would be great if one day we were to be acknowledged as telepaths rather than psychopaths! I do believe that schizophrenia is a step in the right direction. You spoke of the voices 'escalating the issue' and being overly dramatic. My take on this is that they are urging you (and everyone else, since you responsibly posted it!) to take responsibility for thoughts. Most people don't have any indication that their thoughts are heard, or accessed in any way, so they go around thinking what they like without a second thought for consequences. This deaf/blind attitude has made the world what it is today, and we would be in a much better place if everyone were to consider what they think, take responsibility for it, recall it if it's not desirable - knowing for sure, as we do, that there are other powers out there beyond our own.
my voices started out with a "you are under arrest by the FBI scenario, this same thing happened to my next door neighbors relative. I killed them after learning how to affect them, i heard them from hell calling for my help. they went away. then the evil one came after me, he ruined my life, and I ruined his. He hasn't really talked to me for a while, I changed him several times, made him forget how to do things to me. My voices and demons used to crush and bend my cig tubes as i touched them or looked away, one would be displaced, or several. They are using telepathy to sound time displaced and aimed to a conduit attached to invisible technology-i think, which is why you can think those chips out of you. Just imagine a chip somewhere you think it is, and make it go somewhere else or dissappear. It worked for me, now I have control of them and they ask me to stop doing things.