Medical Questions > Womens Health > Sexual Health - Women Forum

How do i stop craving sex?

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I am a 29 year old mom of 2. I had a hysterectomy in 08. I am not on any meds. i crave sex all day every day. I masturbate on average 3 times a day and that still doesn't work. I stay busy being a full time student, employee, and mom. I was never really into sex, not even with my ex-husband. I have been in a relationship for almost 8 months now. I constantly ask my bf if we can have sex and he says no. He has been with over 100 chicks when he was in the army plus the meds he is on is preventing him from having a SD. We have sex about 1 time every 3 weeks. He said he has already gone through his sex craving stage and that's why he doesn't want it that much now. He tells me to use my vibrator. I do and I stilll want it. Actually it upsets me really bad when i have to use my toy. I get to the point that i am hurting physically cause of the pain of wanting sex. I want to cry because i crave it so much. When my bf tells me no i feel like pure crap cause i already feel pathetic from craving sex and feeling like i am having to beg for it on top of feeling rejected. I don't know how to stop this. I want to be normal again. How do I stop craving sex and stop thinking about it non stop. When I am taking a test at school i think about sex, when i am working I think about it. Its really not healthy to be wanting it this bad. I didn't start wanting sex like this till about a year ago. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Please if anyone knows how to stop this or how to atleast slow it down please help! I hate feeling like this. I hate being rejected and feeling like i'm having to beg for sex.
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First Helper Samthegoodguy
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replied March 12th, 2012
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You need to speak to your doctor. The condition is called hyperexuality. They can test your hormone levels, look at your medicines and see what changes could possibly have caused this change. It can also be a sign of other conditions developing, so it is important that you speak to your doctor. It is often treated off label with medicines known to affect sex drive and hormone levels, like anti-depressants or even birth control pills.

You have no reason to feel guilty or disappointed for masturbating. It is the way to deal with your sexual desires in a safe way, and with a person you really like - yourself. Having to masturbate does not mean you are a failure at anything. It means you are a responsible adult, taking care of yourself and your needs.

Best of luck, and really make a plan to see your doctor.
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replied May 6th, 2015
Pathologizing female sexuality is really very sad. This girl has nothing wrong with her; she has a healthy libido in a sexless marriage. What resists persists until quenched.
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replied March 4th, 2015
You DO NOT have hypersexuality, doctors make up "terms" for any sort of physical instability whereas, in your case, you can simply cure your pain with MORE SEX. It may also mean that your partner isn't able to make you ejaculate the way you want to.

As far as I know, there are 3 main types - clitoral orgasm, g-spot orgasm, and squirting orgasm. These may be quite informal terminologies, but you catch my drift. You may, perhaps, be craving a g-spot or squirting orgasm. It is possible, and hypothetically speaking, that the clitoral sponge is in deep need of "release". Thus why you are feeling physical pain. Surely a doctor can prescribe you with meds to reduce your sexual appetite, but WHY??? It's like neutering a human, except with a "hormonal balance system" as opposed to a scalpel and tweezers.

It is normal for a 29 year old, especially a mother, to want a healthy sex life. Having sex once every 3 weeks is torture for someone in their 20s. My ex-girlfriend was 29 and wanted to have sex once a day. As tiring as this routine was for me, I adhered to 90% of her requests (almost 6 times a week).

You are a sexual person, and that is AMAZING! People suffer in relationships because their partner lacks sex-drive. You need a man with a demanding sexual appetite like yourself. He needs to please you harder than the titanic hit ice. You need a man that will flood your ship and sink you down till you STOP begging for more. 'Tis then when you find sexual satisfaction...

I truly hope you find peace with your troubles. Don't ever let your insecurities make you feel you're in any way abnormal but think that those around you are different from you.
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replied May 6th, 2015
Yeah Sam!
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replied May 10th, 2015
OMG!! I thought I was the only female out here with this problem. I am ALWAYS thinking about sex....its sad though when your S.O. turns you down. makes you think of wandering....just saying
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replied January 20th, 2016
There's something strange here. In the letter u say that u r mom of 2 children and then u say u haven't have any sex with a real man. So a question arises: then how did u make two children if u haven't had sex? Strange.
It also seems strange that your boyfriend refuses have sex with u. But it can be explained, may be he's afraid u'll become pregnant out of him and he ll become a father, and he's not sure that he's ready to take responsibility of being a dad of your children. 4 years ago I dated a girl just for sex, because of my craving for sex. We dated each other for 4 months. Over the course of this time we had sex few tens of times. I just wanted sex. But she wanted to marry me, she wanted to bear and raise children with me. And she pressured me. I didn't know what to do: on one hand I wanted to have sex, but on the other hand I wasn't ready to such responsibility. And of course I knew that I was gonna have to choose. And I chose to break up with her. She tried to return me, she told me she's pregnant, but I didn't bow to her pressure. Then she told me that she'd taken a pregnant test one more time and it showed she wasn't pregnant. I thought: "Thank God", and I realized totally that it's dangerous to have sex with a girl, because of the girl getting pregnant as well because of the diseases u can get from sex. Now I'm 26 yo and I won't have sex with a girl unless I love her and I'm sure that I wanna live the rest of my life with her and have children with her. That doesn't mean that I'm not craving for sex now. Really I'm, but I masturbate or have sex with a sex doll, but to have sex with a real woman I'm scared out of the possibility of getting dangerous serious diseases or the girl getting pregnant out of me. So I understand your bf! Perhaps he had a similar experience in his life and now he's also scared of sex.
And u shouldn't be worried about having sex with a real man. U can masturbate, it's absolutely harmless, more dangerous is suppressing your desire for sex. So don't suppress, masturbate. When u find your real love u will have a great sex with your new bf!)
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replied June 28th, 2016
I'm a 26 year old male but I don't have problem with sex but I crave it too much. I recently got out of a bad relationship but me and her would have sex 3 or more a day but atleast 15-30min everytime. Idk but I wanted more . Obviously it would hurt her so I wouldn't ask. Am I normal or is it too much
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replied June 30th, 2016
I also thought I was the only one going through this. I felt like this in college, but then got past it when I met my former husband. Between being separated and then getting divorced, it has been 5 years since I have had sex now. But only in the past 3-4 months have I begun to become "hyper sexual" again. I am almost constantly aroused (never when I was working, but I am not working now) but almost in every other moment). I am masturbating several times a day and I awaken in the middle of the night and find I am fondling myself. My sexual fantasies and dreams are through the roof! I am almost always aroused and enjoy pleasuring myself. But my main question is "why now?" why all of a sudden? I am guessing it's hormonal. I am a 50 year old female and I have ADHD but I take the same meds I have been taking for the past 17 years, so no changes there.
I had surgery two days ago and all I can think about is when can I be healthy to masturbate again? I don't care about how the surgery is effecting my eating or sleeping half as much as I care about being able to masturbate again.
I hope that you are able to find some solutions and those of us that are going through this can find some answers. The interesting thing is that while I don't want to be in a constant state of arousal and to be continually masturbating, I don't want to lose the arousal completely, because I do find it enjoyable. Hoping for answers.
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replied June 30th, 2016
I also thought I was the only one going through this. I felt like this in college, but then got past it when I met my former husband. Between being separated and then getting divorced, it has been 5 years since I have had sex now. But only in the past 3-4 months have I begun to become "hyper sexual" again. I am almost constantly aroused (never when I was working, but I am not working now) but almost in every other moment). I am masturbating several times a day and I awaken in the middle of the night and find I am fondling myself. My sexual fantasies and dreams are through the roof! I am almost always aroused and enjoy pleasuring myself. But my main question is "why now?" why all of a sudden? I am guessing it's hormonal. I am a 50 year old female and I have ADHD but I take the same meds I have been taking for the past 17 years, so no changes there.
I had surgery two days ago and all I can think about is when can I be healthy to masturbate again? I don't care about how the surgery is effecting my eating or sleeping half as much as I care about being able to masturbate again.
I hope that you are able to find some solutions and those of us that are going through this can find some answers. The interesting thing is that while I don't want to be in a constant state of arousal and to be continually masturbating, I don't want to lose the arousal completely, because I do find it enjoyable. Hoping for answers.
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