i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. i obviously love him, but cannot bear the burden of his issues anymore because they have now become my own. he is an abusive rageaholic and cannot admit that he has anger problems. after a phychotic episode of his, he will say that he needs to stay away from me because i am not healthy for him, yet he wont leave or get help. We live together and he has a few pieces of furniture at the house but insists that everything of mine that i have worked hard for is his. I own a business and pay for everything including his cell phone etc. i let him work at my business but he has become controlling and demands that it is half his now, when i have invested all of the time energy and money. i dont want to get the police involved but am DONE with his lack of respect and obvious disregard for anyones wants or needs but his own. i do his laundry for him, cook for him, clean up after him, and pay for his cigarette and weed habit that costs thousands of dollars every month. today was the straw that broke thecamels back. he told me not to spend my hard earned money on a new cell phone for myself. he slapped me in the face, choked me, hit me in the head with a bowl, and and kicked my car mirror off of my car. this is ABSURD! how do i get rid of him without it getting ugly and jeapordizing my own safety AND without involving police
i think number one you have to decide that you want him to go and stick to that.Secondly you have to tell him this is whats happening and give him a date. Thirdly, if it is your house, you need physical support for when the time comes for him to leave. A male friend or two, if he refuses to go. Change all locks on the house. Have you someone who could stay with you until things die down? Good luck x
its a old post im just googling this subject and this pop up. it was god sent to see that someone else in the world is going thru the same exact thing! ive been in a relationship for 3 yrs also and my bf is VERY controlling and abusive in every way!! i mean he do not wnat me to go out, can tb around family,cant do for family, cant have friends, cant buy myself something nice (like he buying it......NOT!!) its hard to wlk away im a witness right now i can honestly say love is gone but i still care for him do not wan thim to be without or on streets or hurt no.... but i do think he needs time to grow up and deal with his own self being insecure, even if he is 4 yrs older...blah!! right now i feel strong enough to wlk away cry for a day or two but be a okay when it is totally over!!! mentally and physically not healthy... hope you got out... im trying!!