how can i tell if i lost my virginity

No, by definition, only a penis can take your virginity. Your friend is wrong.

fingering is a normal process which doesnt need any steps to be taken care of and is nothing like losing virginity .But can any one tell me what are the steps to be taken care of before having penis in my vagina?

Talk about birth control and what you are going to use to prevent pregnancy
Talk about his sexual history and using a condom to protect your health
Talk about lubrication, pain and stopping when YOU want to
Talk about your orgasm, and the fact that it is only ok not to have one if you decide it is ok
Talk about your limits, do you allow/do oral sex, anal sex etc.

Take a mirror and look at your vulva if you have not done so yet. Find all the parts.

Remember that sex should happen as your choice, not because you feel guilty or pressured into doing it.