how can I fix a controlling and broken marriage

My husband and i have been married foe almost a year n half and together for almost 8 years. We have a 2 year old n he has an older son who is 11. We started our relationship all wrong and never built a solid foundation (we cheated on his fiance with me and kept going back and forth between us for months.) He has cheated on me a few times n has left countless times to be with someone else, but hes neen with me steady and im assuming faitgfully since i got pregnant almost 4 years ago. I have never cheated on him but have lied to him about past relationships that i had had. I did this because he is a very jealous person but i soon fessed up to them.

He is extremely controlling and always wants to know where i am, what im doing n i have to tell him where ive been. I dont have any friends and can rarely see my family. He doesnt have very many friends either and has sometimes questioned me about sleeping with them. Hes been abusive in the past and about a year ago threatened my life. This made me gall out of love with him n fear him. He apologized n took him back and hes been doing bettee but still completely insecurr n controlling.

We have recently been fighting because i finally told him how miserable he has madr me for all these years n that i dont feel safe with hom n cant deal with his insecurities. He says hes just insecurr because the lack of intimacy, which we do have sex but it isnt intense anymore because of my fear. Hes always been insecure even when weve had alot of sex all the time.

I could go on about all the negative in our relationship n recently i told him i think we should separate, which he said he wouldnt do. But hes a very good father and a great friend but it seems like our relationship in on thin ice. Weve been to a counselor before n we quit going bevause he said he was fine.

So my question is...anyone know how to fix my broken marriage?