Hi. i'm a 22 year old female. I just graduated college and am looking forward to so many great things in my future. There is one thing that is ruining all of this for me though and that is constantly worrying that I may have hiv. I have anxiety disorder so that of course only makes these constant thoughts ten times worse then they may be normally. Basically this is my story. I have just recently gotten out of a over three year long relationship with my ex, but after about year two, we began to have times in our relationship where we were very rocky and would split for a month or two at a time. During these splits I have dated other people...and unfortunately..have also had unprotected sex with some of them. Back in 2005 I had an hiv test after I was with a man that I had found out, after a very bad experience with him, had used heroin in his past. After this bad experience we split up and I then had to wait about three or four months before I could get an hiv test. This was a very agonizing time for me but luckily I tested negative. I then started seriously dating about 9 months later, the ex I spoke of above. He had told me about his sexual past for the most part anyone saying that he had been with quite a few girls before he met me but was always protected. I trusted him from the very beginning of our relationship, he is a great guy and would do anything for me still, and I still trust him today as we still talk and have a relationship with each other. We split up awhile ago and I dated another guy for a bit. He had told me he was tested for hiv as well in his past. I then dated another man during another split who also told me he had been tested and was fine. And then another. Same story. Here I am now though at a crossroads where I am seriously considering that maybe these guys were not telling me the truth or were, but has not reciently been tested before me or within the right amount of time to truely know if they were negative or not. So..I am not living in another waiting period of time before my next test in August and am freaking out when trying to fall asleep at night. I don't know why it is all hitting me now, but I cannot stop thinking about it. I have so much to look forward to in my future. A career, husband, kids. These are all things I am looking forward to. But I am seriously afraid that I may have completely screwed this up for myself and honestly..if the results were not good..I don't know as if I could live with myself. i'm not asking anyone for an answer, just some words of advice. Do you think I should be this scared for myself or am I overreacting? Help.
I think maybe over reacting a little..I have had AIDS for years and know people who have had it for decades...it doesn't mean you are going to die any more...it just means you have to take care...and you should do that any way.Wait and take the test and don't worry in the mean time as worry wont help.I understand anxiety but like everything in life,you must try to keep it at bay.Good luck.You will be OK.
Its true what homerx says. i have a cousin that has aids. he has had it for quite a long time.. i understand how you feel about wanting a family.. i am now 14 and i have aids too. i cant have a family when i grow up. but one thing i will say plz plz plz for my well being.. and sanity plz promise me you wont make my mistake and you will use condoms for ever on just in case
I have bad anxiety too...all i did was finger a chick and smell it..then when home and searched up the symptoms for HIV..and then i started feeling them as i was looking at them...and this wa sjust the day after..im thinking its jus my mind making me feel this way..im only 15