Are you telling that you have had unprotected anal sex with a woman with unknown HIV status and you are worried about transmission through oil, but not through your body fluids (cause you had unprotected anal sex)?

Remember:
HIV virus is very fragile and does not survive well in the environment, dying in a seconds when is outside its living host.
The risk of HIV transmission is greater with anal sex than it is in vaginal intercourse because the lining of the rectum tears more easily than the vagina, resulting in skin breaks and bleeding, increasing the possibility of the transmission of bodily fluids containing the virus.
If you plan to cheat on your wife, again, try not to forget to wear protection (it's husbands duty to take carry about his wife's health)
And, even when having protection, watch what kind of lubricant you use.
Oil-based lubricants, such as petroleum jelly, cold cream, hand lotion, or baby oil, can weaken the condom.