HIV Fear - very much in depression

Hi,
I try to reflect to your post.
About me: I`v graduated in a medical school more than ten years ago but I work in a different field.
"fever ,hedache,throatinfection, burning of eyes" What is your body temperature? Is it a real fever? I think it also can be some kind of chronic irritation. Do you work with chemicals or any hazardous materials?
"heat in stomach &back,& eyes ,muscular cramps" These are not related to HIV. It can be because of anxiety or dehydration. Do you drink enough water?
"muscule cramp,poor digestion, acidity& heat observed at the time of urine &stool disposal" These are very typical signs of chronic anxiety.
All together, from that what you wrote, nothing really point to direction that you had HIV.

Obviously you don`t want to get tested for HIV but that could solve all of your problems. If you are negative that means you live in your nightmare.

If you commit suicide who will take care of your child and your wife?

If you have any comment, question don`t hesitate to write.
With regards,
Nick