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High Levels of Stress and Anxiety On a Daily Reoccurance

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As a 23 (almost 24) year old male who suffers from Aspergers, OCD, Schizo-effective disorder, and other stress related disorders, I have suffered from (almost every day for the past 19 or so years) extreme levels of anxiety and stress to the point where social interaction and English comprehension take a gigantic hit, and my ability to even think and act drops to near zero. Whenever it occurs, I feel a giant knot in my forehead (about two fingers in diameter) and in my chest (in the center of the ribbone, not but a hand away from my collar bone, also two fingers in diameter).

At its current state, I can't even process logical thoughts. I have total control over my limbs, but cognitive processes like language, arithmetic, and motor skills take a giant drop in capability (I get small breaks but the stress pains come back up immediately after).

Consultation with therapists and psychologists/psychiatrists have brought no long term relief, nor have any medications. Medications in part have brought more symptoms along, if they even cured the existing ones.

In the past, I used to not be aware of it, and oftentimes people would get hurt because I wasn't aware of it going on. Now though, I'm aware of it, but powerless to put an end to it without also bringing myself unconscious.

On a related note, whilst I am unconscious, I am also in a theoretical death state - my mind is completely blank and dark. If I do dream, when I wake up I'll forget most if not all of what I dreamed, and if I remembered any of it, it starts to vanish within two hours at the very least.

Regarding my cognitive processes, I tend to start speaking in gibberish within 10 minutes of the symptoms surfacing, and retain the ability to at least speak comprehensible English for several hours. The gibberish is stuff like "BOOSH KAN PAH! LIN KAN KAL! WING KAN KLA!" or something of that matter. It doesn't make sense, and it also doesn't have the patterns of a language. It sporadically surfaces in my sentences, and just overall gets in my way of figuring out a solution until it eventually starts happening once every 2 minutes or so (sometimes even less).

My motor capabilities are accelerated to the point where one would think I have achieved a pseudo-superspeed motion (my fingers are the most noticeable area to see this symptom in, given how much I use them). However, once they are at said speed, I can't control them any longer - I can't slow them down, or keep track of their motions. It almost looks robotic when I do this on IM, that's how fast it is.

With my social interaction, people around me can't understand me at all. It's super difficult to communicate to anyone, so often times I just have to shut up, but I also feel immense anger, hatred, and envy to anyone around me who has talents/items/friends that I do not. I used to not be aware of this, but now I'm so aware of it it scares me.


And the worst part of this is: I can't figure out what in my life or surroundings, even my interactions, is causing this! I don't know what to do, and this problem is really severely ruining my life. Somebody please assist! Tell me what's going on!
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replied February 20th, 2012
Stress is an intense... intense condition. It is generally a fight with yourself and other who do not comprehend it because it is a fight that seems like it never goes away.
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