Before I always like to go to the toilet and have my BM. But now, going to the toilet seems to be a nightmare to me everytime because I knew that I have hemorrhoids. I've asked my mom to send me to a doctor which we did. The doctor checked my hemorrhoids and told me to take medicines and apply an ointment cream to my anus and we should go back to his clinic 5 days after. But we did not go back because my mom doesn't have money anymore and told me to just wait for the external hemorrhoids to shrink. But that time I was also having difficulties in BM because everytime I try to let off my stool, my anus hurts and bleeds [many blood comes out actually]. So I asked my older cousin to send me to the doctor and this time to a hospital. The doctor there checked my anus and told us that the condition of the hemorrhoids are not that bad but my question is why is it painful whenever I BM? And she told me that's because of hard stools. But even if it's soft, it's also painful. So she told me to drink laxatives and add fiber to my diet. She also said that my hemorrhoids won't be gone that I should just maintain it so it won't get worse. If I really want it to be removed then I should go and check a surgeon.
We did not went to a surgeon as we don't have money anymore so all I can do now is to add fiber to my diet though it helps me to increase my BM whenever I BM it just hurts that it makes me cry. After having BM's I have this weird feeling that I have to have my BM again. I also experience having goose bumps which is don't really like. I told my mom to send me to a surgeon but she told me that, just wait and it won't hurt anymore. I feel that she doesn't care for me. She just ignores me whenever I ask for it. Right now, I'm crying. I don't want to call my cousin for help since I'm shy to ask for her help again since she has more problems right now. And for my question, is there any treatment/natural treatment/home remedies that will make my hemorrhoids shrink and for the pain to be gone? Please help me!