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help with first time sex

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Hi, I'm a girl like most who just wants acceptance. And it seems the most common way is to drop your drawers and bite the bullets from what i hear. My biggest problem is im a scardy cat by nature. So if any older girls who've been there and done ( it! ) that could help it would be lots of help. I guess maily what can i do to prevent FEAR, PAIN, and how to you get confidence to do it, basically talk yourself into it. I'm young curious and fairly clueless whats expected of me, and what age boy should i pick and does his package matter much?!!
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replied August 5th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Are you talking about sex?

Don't just randomly pick a guy to have sex just for the sake of having sex or acceptance. If you want to become more sexual then try something on your own for awhile and masturbate, but don't just have sex randomly because you're curious.

How old are you-- if you don't mind me asking?
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replied August 6th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
you should not just be doing this to "get it over with"..thats a terrible idea...it should be with someone you TRUST...and at least care about...personally I waited until I was in love..you dont want to share such a special moment with a random guy...seriously..you should wait...as maddie said..dont just do this because you're curious...also you need to be well informed and protected..are you even old enough to know about the consequences that can come from this? I'm not only talking about pregnancy but STDs as well.......dont make a mistake you'll regret for the rest of your life..when you get older and fall in love you will wish you had waited bc it means so much more
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replied August 6th, 2008
Experienced User
The acceptance you will achieve after you have sex with someone will be short-lived. Therefore, the incentive for having sex should be strong emotions you hold for someone. As the above posters said...don't just get it done with.

Are you in a committed relationship with someone you'd like to have sex with? Or, are you just "biting the bullet" as you say and getting it done? Cause, darling, I want you to have sex for you, and not some bs social crap.
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replied August 6th, 2008
Hi the other guys are right you should wait till it feels right. You didnt mention your age but im 29 and have only just lost my virginity and theres no denying it makes me feel more normal now and i wanted to lose it cause i was ready and partly because i didnt feel normal but i wouldnt have done with just anyone. im really glad i lost it to the guy i did as hes very understanding and i trust him 100% which is important.. It has boosted my confidence as my fear of sex has held me back from relationships. But it saddens me how so many young girls lose their viginity so young.
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replied January 11th, 2009
I am 16 and have taken two girls' virginity. Dont do it to be accepted, because it will be a disaster and you will just end up crying about it and worrying everyone around you. That, and it's just plain stupid to do things like that because you are worried about how people look at you. Just be yourself, no matter what anyone thinks.

But anyway, the first experience taking a girl's virginity I also lost mine and she was screaming from the pain no matter how gentle I was and we had to stop. The second time... well. She had a heart-attack. That was just 2 days ago and I'm still depserately trying to get medical info because it was very scary.

Long story short, dont do it unless you are at least 15, you have a close friend to do it with, prefereable with a little bit of experience for your first time, and unless you are happy to do it.
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