I really need some useful advice. My five
year-old daughter has fits of rage…..now
when I tell people this they usually say,
“what five year-old doesn’t have an
occasional fit?” No, it‘s not just a
fit. My daughter throws herself on the
floor and injures herself. Screaming so
hard she throws up or gets a bloody nose.
She has kicked holes in her door and wall
when we try to discipline her by putting
her in her room. And they can last for
hours and hours.
It seems like she has unusual behavior for
a five year-old. When she’s having a
fit or about to, she wants things done a
certain way. Like almost OCD. An example
is: When she is throwing a fit, she wants
me to pick her up in front of her by her
head in just a certain way. Now maybe
this is her way of controlling the
situation, but, it is the only thing that
will calm her down. If I do not do things
a certain way, these “fits” will last
hours.
I have talked to my pediatrician about
this. But he just doesn’t get it.
Unless you see her in action it’s hard
to grasp. And I do not want to put my
daughter in a situation where she is
medicated. Maybe there is even a
book…..any suggestions?
Thanks!!
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ladylee70
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
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Posted: 11-16-07 22:25pm
There are so many possibilities. It's
difficult to say what's going on without
seeing her. Is she in Kindergarten? If she
is in Kindergarten and demonstrates
behaviors there, perhaps you can ask the
school psychologist and other staff
members to observe her in the classroom
and start from there. Regular
pediatricians are not behavioral
specialists or psychologists; it's not
their area of expertise. I would want to
know what happens when she throws these
tantrums. There is usually a reason, such
as overstimulation in the environment or
like you said, she wants things done in a
specific way. Did she attain her
developmental milestones on time? How is
she with her adaptive skills such as daily
living skills, communication,
socialization?? There are just so many
questions. The behavior that you described
is atypical of a five year old. Usually
five year olds will have fits, may throw
themselves on the ground when not getting
there own way but they don't do so to the
extent you are talking about. You are
doing the right thing by seeking answers.
Often times, parents of young kids don't
know who to go to besides their
pediatrician. Some are good but they are
medical doctors. They can rule out medical
diagnosis but are not typically mental
health professionals. Much too often
people rely on what they say as the "sole"
answer.
Do you live near a Children's Hospital? Do
you have good insurance? Children's
Hospitals usually have pretty good
clinical psychologists.
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amandaanderson
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Nov 2007 Posts: 2 Location: Colorado,
Posted: 11-16-07 23:38pm
Thanks for the fast reply! She is in
Kindergarten. But she is a different
little girl in school and most public
places. Very reserved, shy, quiet, sweet.
(She is also very sweet at home, when
she’s not having a melt down.) And I do
not believe her school has a psychologist.
They have a nurse and counselors.
Some of the time the tantrums are do to
over-stimulation, sugar, or lack of
sleep…..but I do not believe it’s the
cause. Those elements do cause for us to
have a worse day, but, we are very careful
and it is rare for a sugar over-load or
lack of sleep. Plus there are plenty of
days when a melt down comes out of no
where. And it’s almost always because
things are not done a certain way…..not
because she’s not getting her way. She
wants it done a specific way. I hope that
makes sense.
As far as her behavioral skills, she is a
normal five year-old girl. She has always
been average or above average.
We do have good health coverage. And we
do live close to a Children’s Hospital.
I just am a little naïve and do not want
my little girl to be poked and prodded at.
And actually I do not even know where to
start. Do I just call Children’s up?
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Hart74
Supporter
Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 532 Location: Woodlands (not like there are woods anywhere near) Garden City ,
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Just a Suggestion Posted: 11-18-07 01:56am
My suggestion is that you bring your child
to see a child psychologist, as soon as
possible let them see what's is it that
makes your child behave that way it's
better to consult them now than later, the
earlier the better, prevention is better
than cure. It may be due to somethings
that happened in school have you asked the
teachers?
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ladylee70
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
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Posted: 11-18-07 11:48am
Honestly, it's a good thing that she is a
different child in school and in public.
If they haven't seen any of the behaviors
your are seeing, it means that she can
control it to some point. If she in
kindergarten for a few hours a day, there
is a possibility that she just hasn't had
any of those behaviors because school is
not long enough. School is a place that a
lot of children with behavior difficulties
will melt down due to overstimulation,
lack of control over their environment and
having to deal with so many different
children (just to name a few reasons).
I would call up the psychology department
at children's hospital and speak with the
receptionist. Ask her about the steps to
get your child seen. Since her behavior
only occurs at home, I don't think they
will "poke or prode" her. They may either
do a full psychological assessment or
consult with you to give you ideas on what
to do. When we have children whose
behavior is a little out of the norm, it
usually helps to have someone else help us
to think outside of the box.
You may want to call the school
psychologist and talk with him or her
about what you are going through. They
also may know more about resources in your
community and can help steer you in the
right way. At least they can be a good
person to consult.
Good luck
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rooted
Supporter
Joined: 22 Mar 2007 Posts: 597
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Thanked:1
Posted: 11-26-07 02:37am
Have you considered autism? I'm actually
not quite sure of the symptoms of autism
in younger children, but the calming part
triggered the thought that if she wants to
be picked up a certain way, maybe she's
trying to express another need than simply
bein upset b/c she can't get what she
wants?
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Hart74
Supporter
Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 532 Location: Woodlands (not like there are woods anywhere near) Garden City ,
Thanks: 9
Thanked:7
. Posted: 12-18-07 13:26pm
One symptom of autism is no eye contact
when the child is call - I know this from
my sister her daughter is autistic.
