Help please ....bipolar husband

I understand your tears and can imagine if your bipolar spouse is like mine, there's not a tear shed on their part. I'm new to this site and every time I go on here, I hear similar things that mirror what I'm going through with my husband, which is sad, but it's reassuring about what bipolar really is like....what the behaviors are like. There are different "degrees" of bipolar and bipolar can accompany other diagnoses concurrently, but there seems to be some very common behaviors. Trying to put this in perspective has been so confusing.... because my husband goes back and forth from the "old husband" to the "new husband" and I want the "old husband" back so much, I fall for it, dismissing the bipolar "new husband" history of behaviors...until the "new husband" appears again, so to speak. But with therapy and support groups, I am realizing that it's ok to leave without a guilty conscience, if he is not going to get medication. I feel bad for you as you have a child together. We have 2 children and I've tried to stay together for them. But as the bipolar goes untreated, the symptoms worsen, and it's not healthy to be around. I'm willing to stay if he gets treatment and would help him with that, but he doesn't want that. If I had understood what his behavior was (bipolar) earlier, I would have left then, if he wouldn't get treatment (he's had manic episodes where he goes on medication for 1-2 weeks, then stops and says he doesn't need it. My husband has gotten to the point he had an affair with someone at work (and justifies it as she pursued him) and his thoughts about me have changed, which reflect his condition. I found some of his "notes" about how he feels and he lies to me about his true feelings...which after reading are in line with the bizarre bipolar condition. Never in a million years would I have imagined this situation. But I believe I'm not much different than other spouse's of an untreated bipolar. I feel good I have done my best to try and help him, he refuses help, and it is what it is. I hope for you and your son's sake your husband gets help, but alot of people won't see their problem. I always thought, if I had "this condition" I would want someone to help me...but when they refuse treatement, start doing damaging things, like affairs, going out on the town, etc...what choice is there? Best wishes with all...

Studies show that a very large percentage of bipolar marriages don't make it. This is especially true when the bipolar mate will not get treatment or not stay on their treatment. Most of the articles you read says to be supportive, but a person can only take so much. If you have a child now you need about him too. What sort of environment do you want for him. There are some studies that shows that bipolar disorders run in families because everyone is under the same environmental conditions. Anyway, no one else can tell you what to do. You know your own situation and can listen to advice of others but you must make the decision yourself.

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