Help for Depression ?

I don't even know if I would call it Depression. For a long time now, years, I have been feeling horrible. I know it is common for all humans to feel depressed at one time, but, I feel worthless and like a piece of dirt. I understand that I have horrible self-esteem, if any. I am a 22 year old male in College. I have a mother, father, and one younger brother. I feel as if I failed my parents in this lifetime. I know they perceive me as the "Weak, mentally messed up, lonely, failure of a Son". It's the truth of reality, I'm not ignorantly blissful enough to not realize this. My brother is excelling in College and has a girlfriend, while I spend nights alone. I have always had somewhat of a low self-esteem and I am, I believe, somewhat of a masochist. I am fighting REALLY hard to battle these feeling of worthlessness, hopelessness, and sadness. I am finding it extremely difficult. This is starting to interfere with my normal life. My grades are suffering and so are my interactions with the people around me. I feel so lost. Where can I turn? No one understands right now. If I told my father this, he would say that I am a "confused lost little faggott who should kill himself".

Should I go to a therapist? A psychiatrist? Should I battle this on my own? How did the our ancestors battle depression with none of the medications we have today? I DO NOT want to be medicated and become a mindless drone, but I feel as if I'm losing my sanity.