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Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum > heartbroken after being cheated on after 9 years
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Q: heartbroken after being cheated on after 9 years
asked by: loulou180884 on June 5th, 2008
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I cant eat, I cant drink, I cant sleep and when I do sleep I dont want to wake up. My heart is breaking...one minute I feel stronger and the next weak. My partner of 9 years became distant and treated me badly for a month between april/may, i knew something was wrong and by the end of may I had found out that he had slept with a girl from his work.Im only 24 and he is only 25 but we have been through alot together and I really do love him to bits. I also found loads of messages he had sent her and his phone bill was over £100 due to text messages he sent her.Ive never felt more low.I feel alone, used, ashamed and hurt.He sent her messages saying he was breaking up with me and that he had feelings for her.She said she was getting back with her boyfriend.I wasnt supposed to find out, but my detective work helped and I did. he said he loved me and wanted to work it out.i spent two weeks with my sister...in a daze....crying.
I recieved phone calls from him that were nasty and he seemed to have no remorse.he wanted to know what was happening with our flat e.t.c.after two weeks i came home, he stayed a few nights on the couch after being out..prob with her.I found pictures of her and his other friends on his phone and he still said he hadnt seen her.he said he wanted a second chance and to work things out.he hugged me, kissed me and then hugged me all night.told me he loved me and was sorry.then we had sex and fell asleep together.in the morning we didnt really speak and he got up and got dressed.he said he did want to try and work things out.ive not heard much over the past few days and he had addmitted his head is very mixed up.im so confused,..i cant eat or sleep, im boerd, im a mess and i feel as though im going insane....i need help and i feel so alone.....i dont know what to do.
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Replies(8)
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worrywart01
replied on June 5th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
9 years is a long time, i cant imagine how you must be feeling right now...but you DO NOT deserve to be pushed aside while he has his fling..though maybe you two are at a point in your relationship that you need a break...you've been dating since what 16? And to not know anything different besides each other, maybe he's just confused as to what he wants...if its meant to be you two will get back together..but i think for now, trying to hold on to him won't help...a break sounds like its needed...i personally have always told myself as well that if i caught my bf cheating...that would be something i NEVER tolerated...bc trust is something hard to get back once its lost...I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, but keep your head up and know that you deserve to be treated MUCH better than that..if he were interested in another girl he should have been man enough to break it off with you before cheating...i know not much helps right now but stay strong
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melancholydaye
replied on June 5th, 2008
Experienced User
we've all been through it, but at least you found out early due to detective work. my bf of 2 1/2 years cheated on me a lot and I didn't find out until after the relationship was over. 9 years is a long time, but you should pack up your or his things and keep moving on, try not to ponder it too much, and you have a right to be disgusted with him..just put it into your head that you are better off without him and move on, thats what i did and i'm better off now than when i was with my ex pondering on what he was doing all the time...you guys just need to seperate, and if he trys to come back to you, take it slow. just stay stong and get out there and enjoy your single life. your still a young independant woman. best of luck.
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Sukki
replied on September 8th, 2008
Experienced User
and my family case..
my sister was married to this guy for 10 years, i think 11. then he got wif some prostitute and then she decided to divorce coz he kept taking her money for years and she wanted to get back at him by dating another guy (b4 divorce), then he went all abusive and stuff..so she finaly decide to divorce..

and my other sister.. 6 yrs perhaps... also div..husband cheated..

and me i dunno what im doing, all these is a big carving into my heart.. pain.. i feel i m losing myself. i get cheated, forced sex with guys who had gf's, taken advantage... so what if i found real love (2 guys) at 22 im still labeled by worrywart as a moral-less person and scolded.. and how many times i did it with my exes is a bit too much..i seem to yield too much to guys...coz im really scared..my mum tinks im stupid coz im weak.. i got an ab at 18 yr old too.. everything is jus a shame in my life..

maybe i shud just quit this forum..maybe its not for me..i m not from the us or uk..
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worrywart01
replied on September 8th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
??? don't go talking about me in other threads saying I have labeled you when I have done no such thing...I dont appreciate it
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Sukki
replied on September 8th, 2008
Experienced User
and neither do i hahah
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brenda222
replied on July 7th, 2009
New User
i was dating my bf for three years in the last year it got bad he wouldnt come home he would hit me , id beg for him to spend time with me but he was to busy we lived togeather and i would never see him . i moved out it was off and on but he said he wanted to work on things but he would always go back to being meen. i loved him so much i couldnt say good bye. in the end of summer things were going well and his mom phoned me and said that he had been in a car crash , i got to the hospital in a panic and when i seen him he was on life support and in a coma . I left my job lost my place had to move in with his parents.a month after i was with him every day one of his friends told me his girl friend would be showing up at that moment i couldnt breath .she came said they had been dating for months , i almost left but didnt ,i cant leave i stayed two months later after not eating or sleeping he woke up and said hey butiful io cryed it was un real he made a pretty good recovery and came home. he was differnt very meen and mixed up but i loved him and was forving him then i found out there were2 more girls it hurt so bad but i loved him in oct i was at work and i went blind and def i took a cab to the hospital i phoned him he was to bust with someone to come i dont have any family the next day i found out i had a rare dedly disise i was deiing while in the hospital he would come once a week , months later i got to go home only for awile he statred hitting me and not coming home he later told me he was sleeping with a married woman i left. i cant let go i love him ,how could he do this to me i call him and hes with other girls my heart breaks i dont want to die alone
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kdlee
replied on July 7th, 2009
Supporter
Oh Honey-you aer not alone..You have this site and I am here..Please talk with me..My name is KD and I am a grandmother..Can you tell me what is going on with oyu? WHat have you been diagnosed with and have the doctors given you a time frame? What are you going through? DO oyu have ayone close to oyu? kd
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brenda222
replied on July 8th, 2009
New User
i have sever aplastic anemia but theres other problems.i cant find a bone marrow match too. its my only chance im scared and my family is not around and bf left me .im so lost
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