Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

Heart Won't Heal

Many years ago I met a guy. Like 15 years ago. i had no idea he would become the love of my life. I'll try to make it short but this is 15 years worth of stuff. First, i have a normal everyday girl with a day to day job. He is a professional musician and travels everywhere for months at a time. So, that being said here goes. When we met it was just 2 college kids. i was engaged and so was he. A year or so later my engagement broke off and so did his. we lost touch for about a year. We eventaully met up again and started hanging out more. At this point he didn't travel all the time. anyway, we would flirt and kissed etc but were never "together" we knew all the same people, attracted to one another etc. just never a couple. Well, evetually he found another girlfriend and I other boyfriends. He got married and moved away. We saw each other a few times and just chatted etc. About 3 years after he got married we ran into each other at an event. He told me he was getting divorced. He moved back and started hanging out again. We FINALLY got together but I still felt he was holding back. he told me how much he loved me and always had etc. We say i love you all the time even now. well, he developed a drug problem that almost killed him. This divided us along with him being gone all the time. Well, he's clean now but living with another woman. He says it's not what i think and that for now WE are just platonic friends but who knows what the future holds. Even though we are not a couple he tells me he loves me. It's so hard not to hang out with and talk to him. It's been a few months. I've taken anti-depressants and gone to therapy. Nothing works. He is the only person I have ever felt this in love with. I miss him and I cry all the time. My heart is broken and nothing helps. Not the meds, therapy, work, friends, vol,unteer work or anything else. Am I all alone? I don't even really have anyone to talk to.
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replied March 26th, 2009
Community Volunteer
What you are dealing with is, I believe something that each of us have to battle each day of our life...You are in love, but it is not returned...Another word for this is "rejection"..Sure both of you have said the "I love you" word between you, yet have offered no proof but words of this happening in life...You have had years to make this work with no results....Forget him...He sounds like a lifetime of heartbreak...He is pretty much showing this now...

Move away and find a new life...I doubt he will ever bring you happiness.....

Just my thoughts,
Caroline
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replied May 5th, 2009
Supporter
im sorry to hear you feel that way. believe it or not this shall pass.
i only think you feel this way about him b/c you was never in a relationship with him. so your thoughts of him is superb.
please don't be offended by my words, but if you got with him while he was on drugs, or while he was traveling a lot you might feel differently. You never had a piece of him, experience who he is.
if it was meant to be then he'll come back to you. from the sound of things the relationship he's in might not last long. i could be wrong.
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replied July 31st, 2010
My heart hurts from my head to my toes. I can't find words. I have heard it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Well, I disagree. To go from true love found to true love lost- I can only describe it as breathing or not. A wilted flower. The end to all that is good.
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replied September 15th, 2010
How long does it take before i can breathe sleep and eat again
hi guys girls my 7 year relationship which i tried so hard to stop ending and saying goodbye to my two daughters 1 and 6 i just cant function, i hav to move out in 1 day and say goodbye not my choice but forced to do it she wont even say she wont give up on me. so past heartbroken cant eat cant sleep cant breathe cant watch television cant relax i feel as if someone standing on my chest and if eveything ive known has gone i just always wanted to be loved and have someone to cuddle up to at nights
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replied September 27th, 2010
you self esteem is very low... study, work, read, achieve your goals.... stop thinking of that man as if he were superman....

you are the problem, not him... he is with another woman... he rejects you... he loves u.. those are words very empty in facts....

stop that behavior..
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replied October 2nd, 2010
Experienced User
I would have to agree.....you have to move on. You will always have love for that person no matter what because you apparently loved them with everything you are.....but you can and must move on. Do I think of a person I loved deeply? Yes. Do I still love that person? Yes. Will I always love that person? Yes......however I am living life and enjoying it without that person in my life. If someone rejects you....there is/was never a deep loving relationship on both sides of the fence to begin with. Not everyone can love at the depth some of us can....nor do some understand love. You have to pickup the pieces of your heart and move forward. Surround yourself with friends and family and do activities you enjoy. Take care....
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