Hey, I have depression but this is really weird. For instance, there's this therapist i use to like. I kinda went bonkers and blew things out of proportion and snapped at her a lot because I thought she was doing something sexual with her client. This one time I thought she was doing something inappropriate because I thought i saw her head bobbing through a window crack between the frame and the blinds. I ran up the the window and and she looked at me smiling putting chopstick. I was so enraged that I snapped - long story short.
Plus, I was in session with my male counselor and she was in the next room with her client when out of no where I thought I heard belt unbuckling. Like I could hear them talking then it kinda got quiet then the unbuckling of the belt. My counselor saw the change in my facial affect but I try to blow it off as nothing.
Is it possible that I'm making these noises up? The walls are pretty thin but still, how can I be making the sounds? I talked to a friend which assured me that all the female therapist is doing is trying to help me cope with the feeling of being rejected and such.
It kinda makes sense that she wouldn't waste thousands of dollars on schooling to become a therapist over something so trivial. I get that part, but I just don't get it how I could have heard that sound. Right now, I'm cringing because it kinda bothers me - upsets me but the real emotion I'm feeling is hurt which is covered up by my anger.
Is she using a therapeutic tactic or what? I'm so confused. For instance, I was with my friends in Gary, In at a old abandoned church. My friend Dave was with this friend of his named Rachel. In the car they were talking sexual to each other but david assures me it's just in fun. Rachel told me up straight she doesn't like me like that but she's being nice. So, I guess that's kinda rejection.
I wonder if a girl rejected me then I automatically assume she likes another guy more than me? Is that quite possible? Anyways, they were in the basement, Jason and me were in there too. Dave asked me for a flash light and Rachel was no where to found and I gave him a flash light and he told us to turn around. I'm thinking, "Why would we turn around?" That seemed kinda suspicious. So I'm just walking around then I start getting these flashes (thoughts) of David and Rachel doing something. Knowing David, I kinda don't trust him with women. I walked around trying to find them but couldn't find them, I started hearing banging sounds and I kept on trying to find the source. I was starting to feel anxious and the more anxious the more worried I would become. I heard a woman go "Oh!" so I'm looking for them and they're upstairs. I'm like how in the hell did they get past me like that? They were upstairs the whole time and I was hearing these things.
What is going on with my mind? Is it audible hallucinations or what? Thanks for the advice people! I hope I wasn't too graphic.
hi maybe you did hear these voices but they were voices of something els for example the sound of the unbuckling of a belt is similar to the sound of binders or files that binds papers with a tiny metal or the three ring binder so the councilor either added a paper or took a paper.. the voice you heard in the basement maybe right ( oh ) but because she got hurt or something scratched her or hurt her and maybe they were ding something but in a church ????... you should've asked them why did they left you downstairs and ask her are you alright cause i think i heard something. even if that girl liked him and she is doing something its her choice but we cant assume things or judge people only by hearing sounds. ask your self why do you always think this way it might be something in your past. you programed your brain to think this way , to translate sounds in a sexual way... i am telling you this is not normal and you need to reprogram your brain to translate sounds and voices logically
tell your therapist
I keep hearing coughing sounds coming from the outside of my small rental house. It seems like its coming from all sides meaning the all the neighbors around me. Am I going crazy I look outside and dont see anything and sometimes I hear banging noises I think its the neighbors. I dont hear these coughing noises in other places only where I live. Any advice?
Disclaimer I am not a therapist or an expert, just came across your post, and this is just my opinion and conjecture, my two cents.
First of all, kudos on being honest with yourself and getting these thoughts and feelings out and expressing them, that's the first step.
You seem concerned about how or why you are hearing these things that set you off about women. Instead of worrying with whether these are real things you are hearing, I would shift my area of focus to why these things upset you in the first place.
It sounds like you have a deep seated fear and anger toward rejection from women. By your admission, you 'blew things out of proportion' with this female therapist and went off on her without really having much of a reason other than suspicion. Why does the thought of her with a man in her office 'enrage' you? Even if this was something that was really happening (sounds unlikely) and this female therapist was having sex in her office, isn't that her business? Why is that so upsetting to you? When you talk about women being around other guys, as with the therapist and Rachel, you sound almost that you feel you must keep 'checking on them' to make sure nothing sexual is going on. Why is that? Why the suspicion, and assumption that people are always fooling around behind your back? What kind of repressed feelings, anger, fear, pain/rejection, are buried here, that need to come out and discussed in therapy? These are important questions I think you should be asking and addressing with your therapist. A good therapist should be able to help guide you through these feelings and get at the core of them.
Secondly, if you are in a therapy session and you are more focused on what the female therapist in the next room is doing instead of your own session, that is not a therapeutic environment. You aren't getting what you need out of the therapy. There is a reason that doctor/client relationship must be kept on a professional level, feelings of emotional attachment and sexual attraction will interfere with therapy. If this female therapist is worth her salt, she should recognize these feelings you are having and send you to somebody else.
My advice would be to find a new therapist with which there is no attraction, so that you can bring this issue to the forefront and address it without any distractions. You cannot get a beneficial effect from a therapist if you are more worried about who she's involved with or sleeping with than you are about discussing your own issues. Having a sexual attraction to a professional who is trying to treat you is not a healthy or beneficial situation for either of you.
I would look for another therapist, one who is understanding of your situation, and explain these issues and feelings of rage/anxiety as you have expressed here. These thoughts and feelings are important clues as to what is going on with your mental health, and should be addressed in therapy. Once that has been addressed and put out in the open, then you can dig deeper and discuss whether your feelings of rejection are causing you to 'fantasize' about hurtful and angering things that aren't really happening. That's my two cents, good luck with everything, I hope you find relief and happiness my friend. Best of luck.