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Mental Health > Anxiety and Stress Forum > Healthy habits of coping with stress?
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Q: Healthy habits of coping with stress?
asked by: BridgetWolf on June 10th, 2009
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I'm doing abit better managing the absence of my boyfriend. We're not seperated but hes at work up at 5am until 8-9pm every day except weekends but saturday I work morning until 2pm. Since I am one of those people who self-sabotage and self-harm, I decided to start heading towards really learning to take care of myself. My last family for 16 years taught me how to destroy myself and feel bad about myself so I need to learn how to parent myself, so that I could be capable of Being a parent one day. I started off by buying a few clothes and products for the shower, things I would normally not spend or waste on myself and it helps me appreciate my body abit more. I'm definatly abit healthier, since I never cared whether I was clean or not.
I need ways to THINK I'm alright. I need the mentality aspect to taking care of myself. I certainly stopped eating and I can barely sleep at night because I miss my boyfriend alot. I guess you can say I'm pretty dependent. When he Does come through the door, he usually says thank you for me cleaning his room and making him his meal and planning the night out as something that he would enjoy. It takes alot out of me though and I feel let down when he doesnt really do anything more than just a thank you. I live with his family and most of the time when he IS home on weekends he's busy because his mom made this insane rule that she needs 10 hours of attention per week from him. This includes whatever chores need to get done (her legs dont work well so my boyfriend, Tim and I have to clean the entire house and do the laundry and stuff, its not bad but apparantly it needs to get done Everyday).
All this doesn't seem desperate, and it's not..But I believe if I dont get help soon, Ill fall right back into my old habits again, which involved very unhealthy ways of coping with stress. May someone explain to me in detail how THEY maintain confidence and a healthy lifestyle?
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kdlee
replied on June 10th, 2009
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Honey--you are soo on the right track..I AM PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get out of that house...Your confidence is there..You are finding your inner strength..No one has continuous confidence and healthy lifestyle..It is what you strive for day by day..Honeslty too faith carries alot of weight withint he soul in finding a healthy ballance or returning to it..Just remember you are the one who can do this..

Shower stuff and all you go girl..KD
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BridgetWolf
replied on June 10th, 2009
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Smile thank you. Im comforted that you are proud, it feels like im so alone but Im trying to let myself feel good being able to do it alone. The plan with my boyfriend is that we stay around the house until may so we can have enough money to buy our own house close to where he works. His job is a permanent job and it's whats going to support the both of us for a lifetime. I have insecurities about our future as you already know, but he really isnt the genre of a typical so called 18 year old. Well, he's 18 in august. He really doesnt get involved in something unless its longterm and we've been talking ALOT...He still confides he could never ever cheat and that if i were gone so would he be. Im going to stick with this, and if anything else turns up I'll try my best to fix it before I leave for good. I have faith in him. And im starting to have faith in myself too. I just need to know how healthy people live, because ive been influenced by the wrong crowds for so long. Im so interested how everyone else my age grew up, the contrast of being loved ur entire life rather than having parents who want to kill u every waking moment. Im interested how it feels to accept confidence and just, KNOW how to do good for oneself. I believe im taking steps but im staggering.
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kdlee
replied on June 10th, 2009
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Honey that you realize what it is you are looking for already shows you know the difference..

I was abused as a child--my mom mistreated me badly--I had sisters and a brother but no one including my dad helped me..I was around those who smoked pot and drank--yes I did both and more..Like I said before in no way can I throw stones at anyone..
It's time that helps..Self soul searching ..The will to live better..If your BF is what you want for the rest of your life then keep the communications open..Staying there to save moeny still may not be the best choice but if you can stay sane and keep growing while saving money then you will be the stronger for it when you move..Keep digging honey--you are certainly on the right track to a better life for you and your own family one day..kd
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kdlee
replied on June 11th, 2009
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Someday would love to meet both of you..kd
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BridgetWolf
replied on June 11th, 2009
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Smile thank you that really helped also, and of course. Ill work on a strong soul.
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