I'm doing abit better managing the absence of my boyfriend. We're not seperated but hes at work up at 5am until 8-9pm every day except weekends but saturday I work morning until 2pm. Since I am one of those people who self-sabotage and self-harm, I decided to start heading towards really learning to take care of myself. My last family for 16 years taught me how to destroy myself and feel bad about myself so I need to learn how to parent myself, so that I could be capable of Being a parent one day. I started off by buying a few clothes and products for the shower, things I would normally not spend or waste on myself and it helps me appreciate my body abit more. I'm definatly abit healthier, since I never cared whether I was clean or not.
I need ways to THINK I'm alright. I need the mentality aspect to taking care of myself. I certainly stopped eating and I can barely sleep at night because I miss my boyfriend alot. I guess you can say I'm pretty dependent. When he Does come through the door, he usually says thank you for me cleaning his room and making him his meal and planning the night out as something that he would enjoy. It takes alot out of me though and I feel let down when he doesnt really do anything more than just a thank you. I live with his family and most of the time when he IS home on weekends he's busy because his mom made this insane rule that she needs 10 hours of attention per week from him. This includes whatever chores need to get done (her legs dont work well so my boyfriend, Tim and I have to clean the entire house and do the laundry and stuff, its not bad but apparantly it needs to get done Everyday).
All this doesn't seem desperate, and it's not..But I believe if I dont get help soon, Ill fall right back into my old habits again, which involved very unhealthy ways of coping with stress. May someone explain to me in detail how THEY maintain confidence and a healthy lifestyle?