Hey,
I've been in a relation with my bf,
we never met in person, so only over the internet.

He's 5 years and 5 months older and momentarilly 23 and I'm 17.
First 3 months were fine, but then we started arguing.
I could accept it, because:
1. diff culture
2. young and older usually have diff thinking and experience
3. new relationship always struggles to get to know eachother
4. mother died so I was a little emotional.
But he often made statements that I didn't love him, or that I'm better off with a bf in my own country because I need support right now, he also said that he's tired of arguements, but he has always had trouble accepting it as a part of a relationship.

Often he just wants to flee, if we are trying to talk things over after the arguement he keeps telling, enough.. I'm tired of this talk..
But then we haven't made up yet.

Yesterday we had a discussion,
I went to the eyedoctor and I told him I need glasses or contacts, he inmedietly said I should try contacts because he doesn't like girls with glasses. I then continued that I'm going to try it, but if it's to painfull or it doesn't suit me then I'll wear glasses. He continued disagreeing and said I could just practise wearing contacts.
I was about to work on my schoolproject, I talked with him for 30 minutes and then told him I should really get working on schoolwork. He said, okay I'll leave, and when I said bye he was sad, so I said, why are you sad? and then he showed me a picture of a girl from my country...
I was like, okaaaay... why show me this?
He said he just ''found'' it while browsing through the net.
then I aksed if he likes here, then he replied she was cute.
SO I asked, cuter then me?
then he said you're most cute,
but he really likes europian girls, because he thinks they're cute.
I don't think it so I told him, and he said fool, then you're not cute too.
Then he said europian women are most beautifull in this world.
So i said, in my class are only 2 pretty girls,
he replied, pretty girl contain you?
So I said, yes to clear out most europian women are ugly.
He then laughed at me...
I felt so insecure... so I asked why he laughed.
He said just because I'm a confident girl.
I didn't believe it so I said:
you thought it was funny because you don't think I'm beautifull...
then he said: nope, you're cute.
I thought wth, he also thought the girl in the pic was cute, and cute is far from beautifull...
Besides, when I look at myself I DON'T think I'm cute LOL.
But people often tell it to me because of my behaviour.
SO I told him he just thinks it because of the way I act, not looks.
Then he said YES.
OMG my confidence now hit bottom level...
So I asked.. then what do you think of my looks..?
and he kept saying cute..
so I said.. not beautifull?
Now, a girl SHOULD NOT EVEN HAVE TO ASK this!!!
And then he said, you want beautifull???
LIKE, as if he thought: you're not beautifull, but if you want it I'll say it.

So.. he thinks europian women are beautifull, but not his gf..

SO, then we just showed eachother some pics of ugly and pretty people...
and then he asked if I want his penis inside me.
what, I was hurt and he expects me to just say OMG YES I WANT IT.
For christs sake I'm only a vergin, yes normally I say it because I know it will make him happy. But to be honest, I don't know how it feels to have something inside me, so I honestly said: I don't know if I want it.
Then he was insulted, after he treated me like this!!!???
How can he expect me to want sex with him!!!
Then he started saying things like: if you love me so much you would want it.
So I said, if you love me so much, why don't you let me make my homework!?
then he said, please do it, I'll leave now.
I said okay and bye and he left with a mere bye..

I feel like I'm the only one fighting for this relationship, because everytime we argue he wants to leave and wants to break up with me.
And I'm now so insecure...
I've always told him he's beautifull when he sends me pictures,
but now I clearly remember him always saying 'cute' when I send him pictures.
THe only time he said I'm goddess of beauty was when I sent him underwear pictures...
Then, if I'm beautifull in his eyes.. why did he say such a thing like, you want me to say you're beautifull???!!

It just hurts me so much to feel insecure about the fact that I don't even know if my BF thinks I'm beautifull..

please tell me what you think and what I should do, I'm so confused..