Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

he just wanted to be single but i still dont understand why!?

User Profile
So this guy and I dated for about 2 weeks and a half. I know it was not long enough and all but we had been talking for about a month and a half but the bad part is that when we were talking he had a girlfriend. He really wanted to break up with her so I thought it was not bad, although he had been dating her for a year. He eventually broke up with her and partially he did so because of me. He would always say the sweetest things as: "Your perfect, i'm so glad I met you, and I would be even happier if we moved on to the next step into a relationship." We went out on a date and he asked me out that night. I said yes of course and I was so happy and he seemed like it too, but when he broke up with me, I felt horrible. He broke up with me in a text message and said that he saw the relationship more like a friendship and he wanted to be single but still wanted to be friends. The first 4 days after breaking up with me he would never acknowledge me even though he had said he wanted to be friends. I never called him or texted him or questioned him about it because I wanted him to come to me. Eventually he began to be nice to me and be a little flirty. To my friends it seems like he is not taking me for real and is just messing with me but I prefer this over the fact of him not talking to me or acknowledging me. He hugs me in a way like if we were dating and he just makes me believe we could go out again but I don't know what to do and think. I'm so confused, and I would love to talk to him about it but I just don't want him to know that I still haven't gotten over the fact that he broke up with me. I came to found out that he was holding hands with his ex of one yr on the last day of school and this is what driving more than crazy right now...
Did you find this post helpful?
|

replied December 21st, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
honestly..it sounds to me like hes serious with his ex(maybe trying to work things out since you found out they were holding hands), that they may have had some issues and that you were the rebound girl..sad as it is, you never want to mess with a guy/girl that has come off of a pretty long term relationship until they've had a nice break and had time to move on..bc they can deny it all they want but fact is..after you're with someone for a year, thats a good long time..and you cant just be "over it"...it takes time..so getting involved with him to begin with ESPECIALLY when he was still with his girlfriend was a huge mistake...just let him go before it becomes more complicated..leave it alone and let him figure out what he wants..
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied December 21st, 2008
Experienced User
i think his ex probably gave him "something" to keep him interested in her. you may be able to figure out what that is.

also, i think he's kind of messing with you. you seem like a sweet person, and i bet you are. you're worth having a guy who's crazy about you. this guy with the ex girlfriend is probably not the right guy. focus instead on another guy who doesn't have the ex girlfriend and one who is REALLY into you.

if a guy turns me down, he's DONE in my mind. i'm not rude, or anything at all to him, but i don't hug him and i don't act overly friendly with him either. i go find another guy. i think you should do the same. you need to be careful here...if your friends know that he broke up with you, they are watching how you'll react to him. if you are reacting to him in a way that appears weak or needy, then your friends (and the other guys) will take notice of that and assume that you have a low self-esteem. whether or not this is true, you need to plan how ppl see you and what their impressions of you are. make sure that you always present yourself to people in such a way that will cause them to hold you in high regard and respect you.

if you'd like to discuss this with me, feel free to pm me. i'll be glad to help.
jasmine
|
Did you find this post helpful?