I am having an incredibly hard time making my wife come to orgasm during sex or oral! I have no idea what I am doing wrong. We were both virgins when we got married and are still new, but it seems like it shouldn't be that hard. Any help or suggestions?
Read the kamasutra and talk about it! Try different post ions til she finds one that works for her. Also be warned, a very few women can't. Then see a doctor/therapist for professional help. Just my advise n I'm 52. Oh yeah , fore play read up on it and practice.
There are many reasons a woman might not be able to reach orgasm, many of which might have nothing to do with you. Women are far more complicated than men sexually, and it's not uncommon for women to never (or rarely) reach orgasm with a partner. The reasons can be physical or emotional or a combination. Some women never climax from intercourse but are very orgasmic otherwise (as is my current partner). Intercourse can feel good, but not be orgasm-inducing without her using her hand to help her along. Whereas my previous partner could climax very quickly from intercourse. It all depends on how all the "parts" are put together and where they're most sensitive. Your wife may never climax from intercourse, and that's ok. Don't take it personally. Intercourse is only a small part of an enjoyable sex life, and you're no less a man if your wife doesn't climax from repeated thrusting.
If this is the case with your wife, experience and a willingness to experiment will be on your side. A woman's entire body is part of the sexual experience, as is the the emotional side of being intimate with you. Loving caresses and kisses virtually anywhere can go a long way toward her climax. Build up to it. As Monty Python said in a movie, you don't have to go "stampeding toward the clitoris." Building up to it can have a much better result. Be patient and find what works for her.
On the other hand, some women have a mental block against orgasm, and that can be more difficult to get past. I once knew a woman who had grown up learning that sex was for one purpose only and any feelings of pleasure were guilt-inducing. The closer she got to an orgasm, she would develop a massive headache from the the tension of trying to fight it emotionally. Something like that takes a great deal of time and patience and loving to overcome. Therapy might help, but caring and time are the best solution.
Hopefully some of this helps you, but the main thing to remember is if your can't make your wife come, you're approaching it from the wrong angle. You don't "make" your wife come - she'll come when she's ready. The best you can do is help her get there. Make it about her. You're a young guy - you'll get yours easily enough. Take the time to learn her intricacies.