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Have no one to talk to

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For the past three years or so I've felt depressed. I don't think about suicide but I feel empty, I feel dead inside. My parents had me when they were 18, I was an accident. I'm pretty sure they blame me for missing out on a lot of opportunities, but they hide it behind sarcastic jokes. I'm an only child so their expectations of me are pretty high. They are never proud of anything I do, "No matter how good you did it, you could of always done better." my dad likes to say. They make me feel so inadequate with comments like that. If I try to talk to them about it they tell me I'm crazy or they make me apologize to them because I made them feel bad. I've asked numerous times for therapy, but they tell me being depressed is a normal part of being a teenager and that I should just deal with it. Over these years it's just gotten worse and worse. I've sat and watched all my best friends become addicted to drugs, go to jail, and drop out of school. I was addicted to prescriptions for a while but I stopped, I've been sober for a year and a month now. I've also stopped talking to most of the people I used to hang out with, but everyone at school still associates me with that group of people so It's impossible for me to make new friends. I'm alone at school because all of my friends dropped out and my grades suck because I have no motivation. Also, I've never dated anyone who hasn't cheated on me. For some reason I thought cheating on my current boyfriend would get revenge on all the guys who did it to me before. I broke up with him tonight because I don't want to hurt him. I've never cheated on anyone before. I feel heartless. I just do whatever I want without thinking now. I feel like I can't control myself and I have nobody to talk to anymore. My parents don't know about my past so I can't talk to them either, I don't want to hurt them or make them worry. I don't know what to do anymore... I feel like running away from everyone and everything.

p.s. I'll be 18 in a month, if you were wondering my age...
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First Helper Sporkingwithspock
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replied April 29th, 2010
I am in a similar situation where i have no family or friends and even though i have a partner i am pushing him away from me slowly.
The whole problem in this is that you don''t have and probably never had anyone who actually appreciates you.
like i never did but you must not shut yourself out i know it''s hard but having a hart to hart with someone who understands you is realy the best thing or the other thing i would recommend is councling.
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replied April 3rd, 2012
Burdens.
I have the same situation, but replace that feeling of inadeqaucy with the burden that both my parents are incapable of raising me, my father being a sex addict whom I thankfully never see and who also would be rich and retired but has choosen to insted invest his time and money in online fantasy women who support his dillusion. My mother is a hopeless depressed women with five children and a grandchild who we had to adopt because of my brothers premature mind thinking... why not? Since than I've had to practically raise this child, (her father my brother had molested me, than threatened to kill me while both my parents stood watch). I have crippling depression which I have told my mother about several times, not inciunations full out infromation. Explicitly stating my unfortunate state, it's been thrown to empty ears as all my problems are. I am fifeteen so I may not seem in any way qaulified to give advice but damnit, as one hurt soul to another may I just say,

if your going threw hell keep going.

And if that doesn't get you anywhere, than marijuana.
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replied April 4th, 2012
Teens..please don't give up.
Hey, I'm 39. I've suffered from depression most of my life, but I managed to concour it mostly. I came here because as an adult I've got a new chapter of responsibility..two kids and redundant for six months with a mortgage to pay. Have masses of qualifications and experience, but no one wants to hire me. So I realized a couple of weeks ago, that this was more than anxiety..that I was slipping into the black cloud again. But then I came here...and I remembered what it was like to have depression at fifteen and eighteen, and it is so much harder. There are heaps of things that can help..the best for me was honestly..getting outside for thirty mins every morning helps, taking st johns wort helps, and antidepressants REALLY help. Go and see a medical practitioner. Get on citalopram...and don't leave until you get it. Then once things start getting better, find people to talk to who understand. It will take all your energy to get well, and you think it will be impossible, but in six months time, you will feel better...and believe me, there is so much to look forward to later in life. Don't give up. I tried to kill myself when I was fifteen. I'm so very glad I didn't.
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replied April 6th, 2012
I am 17 and have been suffering with depression for the past year and a half. I was dating a guy in the army and went through a lot of verbal abuse with him. I have always gotten comments on my weight from my own family and have never really been open about my feelings. I don't think it's normal for a 17 year old to be as unhappy as I am, but sometimes I have no idea what to do in order to shake the depression. I can't talk to my parents about it, they think I have a perfect and easy life. Please help
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replied April 10th, 2012
I must say that out of bad comes good. I missed out on a normal childhood and grew up with my grandparents -in which is good but bad too cause they recently passed away and I am in my twenties. Alot more is to be said about my relationship with my mother and what I have had to go through with circumstances that other people put me in....but don't let other peoples problems be yours. You are who you want to make yourself.Look at the good things in -go out for a walk and take all five senses in and realize that there are alot of things to smile about. This is life and its an amazing thing- I shake my head and just don't get how we all have problems cause its all a joke but thats how it goes and everyone has a story. I tell myself that to make myself feel better and not be a downer cause beleive me even though I know this is true it is hard to not feel sorry for ones self. Stay positive. With all experiences it makes us stronger and better people than those who have hurt you.
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replied September 25th, 2012
i dont even no where to begin
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replied September 25th, 2012
i dont even no where to begin
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