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Hate my life. want to commit suicide

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I am a 22 year old..i will be turning 23 this july..i dont know whether i hate or love my family. my dad has expired when i was 15 years old. from then my relatives tookover started acting like they have what all i got and my mother being a single parent doesnt say a word however they treat me or abuse me infact shouts at me for if i snap back to maintain my self respect

my life was really colourful when my dad was alive. i respect mother as being a single parent she raised me well even with many difficulties.but does that mean she has the right to treat me like a servant? and abuse me with whatever word comes into her mouth?.

All she now wants is to get me married and rid of me. why is that so important to get married when i dont even have the intention of getting married now. i lost in mylife many times i was let down by people whom i trusted most till day. all i have are few friends who know only a part which is going on.

When i say i dont wanna get married the abusing starts off immediately. all this have helped me make a decision dont know if its right or wrong. but i feel this is the best i can ask for..that is to commit sucicide. that way i will be free from my family who i dislike and dont have to marry someone whom i dont like. i will be happy to die
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First Helper ansuha
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replied June 4th, 2012
anusha, cmon u know how awesome the world outside is right? are you working? if you are then you can happily move out of your house and live by your terms. And yea, your mum doesnot have the right to shout at ya.
Suicide is not an answer to anything. You can have an amazing life. DOnot take hasty decisions. I have been through alot too, times when i cried out of desparation. But then, life moves on.
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replied June 4th, 2012
If you donot have a job, tell me your qualifications. I might have a solution.
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replied June 5th, 2012
Hi Ansuha,
i think this is not the last option for your problem. Try to find out the positive thinks from this deplorable story. All the thinks are right in their places. So you have to understand the thinks which you have to choose.
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replied June 12th, 2012
Hate my lif and want to commit suicide
To" forever alone"
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling the unbearable pain of wanting to die right now.Sometimes feeling depressed for a long time can lead to this feeling in the end and a way out seems impossible.I suffer from depression and it ends in me feeling suicidal sometimes.All I can do to get myself out of it is to draw near to God.Reading the psalms in the bible helps me alot when I feel that I can't go on anymore.Please give it a try even if you are not a believer.All the passages in the book of psalms are relevent when you feel like this you will see that.Sometimes even listening to music that is relevent to how you feel helps too.The song creep by radiohead makes me feel better when I feel suicidal.
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replied June 12th, 2012
Hate my lif and want to commit suicide
To" forever alone"
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling the unbearable pain of wanting to die right now.Sometimes feeling depressed for a long time can lead to this feeling in the end and a way out seems impossible.I suffer from depression and it ends in me feeling suicidal sometimes.All I can do to get myself out of it is to draw near to God.Reading the psalms in the bible helps me alot when I feel that I can't go on anymore.Please give it a try even if you are not a believer.All the passages in the book of psalms are relevent when you feel like this you will see that.Sometimes even listening to music that is relevent to how you feel helps too.The song creep by radiohead makes me feel better when I feel suicidal.
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replied June 12th, 2012
Re: Hate my life. want to commit suicide
ansuha wrote:
I am a 22 year old..i will be turning 23 this july..i dont know whether i hate or love my family. my dad has expired when i was 15 years old. from then my relatives tookover started acting like they have what all i got and my mother being a single parent doesnt say a word however they treat me or abuse me infact shouts at me for if i snap back to maintain my self respect

my life was really colourful when my dad was alive. i respect mother as being a single parent she raised me well even with many difficulties.but does that mean she has the right to treat me like a servant? and abuse me with whatever word comes into her mouth?.

All she now wants is to get me married and rid of me. why is that so important to get married when i dont even have the intention of getting married now. i lost in mylife many times i was let down by people whom i trusted most till day. all i have are few friends who know only a part which is going on.

When i say i dont wanna get married the abusing starts off immediately. all this have helped me make a decision dont know if its right or wrong. but i feel this is the best i can ask for..that is to commit sucicide. that way i will be free from my family who i dislike and dont have to marry someone whom i dont like. i will be happy to die
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replied June 13th, 2012
To Ansuha.

I don't believe that getting a job is the answer to your problems and the world outside isn't going to feel great if you feel so bad inside.Your mother abuses you and you have the right to stand up for yourself without her abusing you further for that.Your mother as a single parent struggling may be unhappy herself and is taking out her problems onto you which is wrong and you should be able to say to her I'm a human being with feelings and do not deserve this treatment.As for getting married if you have witnessed and experienced unhealthy relationships in your home-life between yourself and your mother or between your mother and father in the past you may be put off by the idea of getting married at the moment.Maybe you have developed negative ideas about marriage as you haven't been shown a good example of relationships and may feel that yours will fail.This doesn't have to be the case when you are ready to get married having a companion and living with someone could be the answer to all your negative feelings and you can use your bad experiences with your mother to show you how not to bring up your future children and how not to be in relationships.I believe that you have the power to have a successful happy marriage and create a happy life with someone who doesn't give you abuse.The time for marriage might not be now but you could look forward to the future and think about having a happy home-life with your future wife which takes work on both parts,that doesn't resemble the life you have to put up with now.In the meantime you cannot let negative energies directed towards you from your family to continue as this is bound to put you down and make you feel depressed and got at all the time which can send you into a slump of unhappiness and desperate despair.You should try to think positively about the future and think about how happy you can be in your future marriage and that your home-life now will be left behind you and you will be able to control your own life and feel independent and create your own happiness.Maybe it would be an idea to talk to your g p about feeling suicidal and depressed and tell him why you feel that way.Don't feel ashamed to talk to your doctor as you would; be surprised how may patients he probably treats for this.It doesn't mean your crazy.Maybe a serotonin boosting anti depressant would help you feel better while you are going through this as your problems have probably dampened your ability to feel happy and this may cause your serotonin levels to decrease.I am trying to find a good anti depressant for myself.You really need to try them for 4 weeks before deciding whether they are working or not and you may need to try a few before finding one that suits you but you will defiantly notice something from them after a few weeks even.I hope you do overcome feeling suicidal as I have to do sometimes in my life,and I have faith in God and finding a good anti depressant to lift my mood,just take each day as it comes and don't be tempted to become angry when you experience bad energies from your family.
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replied October 21st, 2012
i under stand you
im in the same positon as you are right now i have three kids no job my family seems not to care about me my housband is not with me he says we are going to be together but he doesnt help me with the kids and im feeling like you too and i dont know what to do im sorry
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replied November 23rd, 2012
I am in the same position. My father died when I was 3. I am 17 now. And I hate my mother above anything in this world. She abuses me as well and I think she will be very happy to get rid of me.

What do I do now? I won't give in! I will fight. I am waiting now, bidding my time, waiting to graduate from high school. One day I am going to walk free from this house and be free. One day. I will not let myself be her servant!

You must fight. Don't fall and break and cry like a girl. I believe you are strong enough for that. Just sit quietly and try confronting yourself, and discover your strength. I believe you can.

Do not hesitate to message me, i will be pleased to aid you.
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