I am fine around ppl if they keep a distance from me. I love my family however I do not like to be around certian family members much as I feel that !. my brother thinks I'm weak & this makes me feel bad so i avoid him. i do this with his family also due to the same. I love my dad but he is depressed and so i avoid him. My mum though is a lot like me. introverted i feel and her and I get along great.

At work I have been getting bullied almost (ppl talking behind my back. (I have never suffered from ppl bullying me in my highschool yrs. I am just quite shy & don't drink like I did. i used amphetamie drugs for a while and smoked marijuana and debeloped drug induced psychosis.

I hate my bf checking women out (he does this all the time right in front of me)and i am quite paranoid when he becomes friends with his friends girlfriends. I don't like them at my house prob cos i am introverted.

I am so nervous around ppl in new work situations and I ahrdly speak to anybody. I don't take critism well at all and once critisised and want nothing more to do with the person except my partner lol & mum.

What's wrong with me doc? I am fine alone in my own world. I just find it very hard to trust ppl and if i was to trust a woam the though of her coming to my house would prob turn me off the firendship as I don't trust her being around my bf. Am I perhaps a paranoid schitsophrenic or could my bf yelling at me have made me really fragile over the years. I wasn't THIS bad when i was younger. never liked strange groups much but made friends easily now i have none.

Could this be a result of me wanting a quiet peaceful private life and my boyfreind wanting a more social one. I have the neighbours across the road that can see me as i walk out of the driveway & I hate this as i am private. they prob know everything about my life which I hate.

Today I got critised and critisised from upstirs while i was down stairs and i just stayed there and kept working. then after every critical remark the ppl upstairs would come down and be really fake and nice to me.I was nearly in tears at one point. i don't know why I've styed on. It's because i don't trust. i don't speak, I am scared , I honesty wished something i had never thought i would have wished for myself today. I wished I wasnt here for a second. I'm not that sort of person but they really hurt me. maybe i just shouldn't go back there I mean is it reall worth it.