handling bipolar relationship

Bipolar disorder usually has a devastating effect for relationships.

Does she take her medications responsibly?
Have you thought to participate together in a bipolar supportive group?

Bipolar disorder is tough. It is hard on the person who has the disorder and hard on those that love that person. Relationships are strained with this disorder. I am sure you know this first hand.

You said the cycles are getting closer and closer together. She is not stable. Is she taking her medication? She may need a medication adjustment or another medication. She needs to see her psychiatrist.

Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition - a physical condition. It does effect personality. The common theory is that there is a chemical imbalance in the neurotransmitters in the brain. These neurotransmitters are directly involved with our feelings of well being and our stress responses. This causes many symptoms to be displayed. The behaviors that results are part of the illness. Fluctuations in mood are the hallmark symptoms of bipolar disorder. There are many behaviors and symptoms that are common to the disorder.

You may want to talk to your girlfriend about going into see her doctor. Let her know that you are seeing more rapid cycling and she needs to let her doctor know this. How old is she? Perhaps her family would have some influence on her. Her family may be able to convince her to see her doctor. If she is unwilling to go to the doctor there is little you can do.

At some point you need to consider yourself in this. You can offer support to your g/f but if she won't take her medication or see a doctor to get reevaluated, there is not much you can do. I know this is difficult. You need to think about how this affects you and your life and weigh the cost of staying in the relationship and the cost of getting out. Perhaps talking to a therapist yourself may give you more clarity on the subject.

She is taking all medications. For a while she was improving, but then a sudden relapse. The doctor is trying to adjust the medications, and she is finally much more compliant this time (before she would refuse to take medications). It is just this seems to take some time to get results.

This is a tough one. Maybe because I was with her for so long, I can see beyond her present condition. I hope I can be of help, if she needs help. However, as someone pointed.... I think her personality has changed.... Or maybe this is just temporary.... I really don't know. It is difficult to understand who this person really is. I attended bipolar support groups with her before. When she is her normal cycle, it is not a problem. However, when she is a maniac cycle, she seems to have almost no good judgement at all.

I admire you all out there who have bd spouses and boyfriend and can be so supportive.... I don't know if I have the emotional energy to continue this way. I believe in the end, it only depends on how the person with bipolar condition wants to handle her life, much more than a personality issue.... She could be more careful when she is in a "normal" cycle, so she could understand the signs of a maniac episode and be proactive about this.... However, I feel that a maniac episode is somewhat "pleasant" to her (at least in the beginning), so she seems to welcome the situation, instead of preventing it. Is this something common?? It seems irrational to desire to suffer from the very medical condition someone would like not to have...

Finding an effective medication regimen for bipolar disorder can be a difficult and long process.
Usually, bipolar patient tries several prescriptions before finding the one that works for her/him.
Determining the optimal dosage is another step to be achieved.
It's a clinical experience that mood stabilizing drugs taken for long-term, help prevent relapse into full-blown manic and depressive episodes (prevent BP condition from deteriorating).

Mania is pleasant for some people. They feel on top of things and very productive. Creativity seems to peak during mania for some people.

Mania does cause problems in judgment and the ability to make wise choices. The prefrontal cortex is affected by bipolar disorder. Scans show differences in this area of the brain when comparing someone with bipolar disorder and someone without the disorder. The frontal lobe of the brain is responsible for judgment in decision making, impulse control, and it is our emotional center in the brain. When this area of the brain is impaired, the person can exhibit some very impulsive behavior or their emotional affect may be affected. This may explain some of behavior you see.

You are right in your assertion that how the person handles the disorder and how they approach treatment will affect them and those around them. This disorder is managed, not cured. It takes an exhaustive number of hours to maintain some sort of stability and keep things on an even keel. This disorder demands a lot from all those involved. It can drain you but this is especially true if the person who has the disorder is in denial and unwilling to get treatment.

I hope you can sort this out for yourself. This disorder does not get better - it is always in a state of flux. Life is never dull when someone you love has bipolar disorder. My motto is "Boring is good." I long for boring! Best of luck to you.

This is just a taste of what you have to look forward too in the future if you were to continue the relationship. Here is the reality of it all….you can’t fix her and jumping into anything long term at this time would look a bit odd. Stay a close friend for now and see if her pdoc can get her stabilized for at least a period of one year before continuing down this road.

Before you guys jump on me for saying this…I too am bipolar and would not want to put anyone through my instability and the added pressures on myself for trying to sustain a relationship. If you are already married to one of us….please think of yourself first and your own sanity. Life is too short.