First, let me start by saying this is my second trip, but it wasn't as bad as the first. The first trip I had was over a year and a half ago and I had a pretty bad panic attack. It started with me, my buddy, and my girlfriend smoking marijuana outside. I took the first few hits and they finished it. After a few minutes I was tripping quite a bit; I was sitting down and it seemed like I kept falling forward and finally I almost blacked out. I told them I wasn't feeling well and I tried walking over to the garage door but it was really hard. After sitting down for another minute we walked to the house so I could relax; We ended up watching South Park and I started seeing colors after about 10 minutes. A few more minutes passed when I started to panic out of no where and the first thing I did was call 911. After the ambulance got me inside and drove off I almost fainted twice on the way to hospital but I wouldn't allow myself to. They sat me on a gurney for what seemed like an eternity, and then my head started to feel and sound like it was slowly being crunched in and I got a massive headache and felt overwhelmed. Skipping forward a bit, I didn't feel ok for about a month or so. I suffered from small headaches for a week straight, and then random anxiety attacks and a rushing feeling in my head. I think they were triggered by subconscious fears like riding in a car or being out in public.
Here is something else. I've been drinking every now and then lately and I think it might be affected my memory. I've never had the best memory but it's been faulty more often, like forgetting that my girlfriend only wanted me to drink one can and save the rest or that she wanted to see a movie.
Anyways! On to the other day.
I was at a party and had a bit to drink. (2 shots of Vodka and 3 tall Beer cans) I chipped in some money for a 30 pack of beer, so I got half. After I felt like I was good enough to leave I walked home. Right when I got to the front of my house my friend calls me and invites me over to his house because his other buddy is over and he wanted to play video games. I promptly made my way over there and broke out the beer. After another can his friend asked if I wanted to smoke some bud and I agreed. I had totally forgot I wasn't going to smoke anymore... after about 15 minutes I was obsessing over little things and then I started to feel paranoid. I layed down and I started to hear a cracking sound but after my first trip I told myself my head was just messing with me. I went into his living to chill out but that didn't help. His brother was playing a video game and I just curled up in the corner of his couch with a blanket and some water, completely spaced out and not very responsive. I was trying to stay cool so I tried to fall asleep. After a while I did and woke up feeling horrible and woozy in the morning from my hangover.
Fast forward almost 4 days, and now I still feel spacey and slow, and there is a dull pressure on the left side of my head. I'm not doing good in online video games like usual and I had a small panic attack at the store for absolutely no reason while I was looking at nutrition bars. This attack wasn't as bad as last years, I'm just afraid it will persist. I told my Mom but I'm really hoping I don't have to take any anxiety meds, because getting on them will make this all the harder. Why does this happen and when will it stop?
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