Hello all,

I am VERY new to this forum (about 2 hours)

I am a 32 yr old single mom of a 10 yr old boy and have lived alone for the past 8 yrs.

My Grandmother just moved in with me, she will be 90 next month and is too old to live alone anymore (she too has live alone for MANY years)

She would have moved in with my parents but my dad just diagnosed with cancer and between his treatments and my moms bipolar disorder, my grandmother could not live there.

She has been here for 3 days now and is very PROUD and STUBBORN, I understand the aging have issues such as weak bowels, memory problems, eye sight and hearing, etc- at least I know my grammy does- she has early alheimers, emphasyma, diabetes, glaucoma, vison loss etc- as for the past 4 years I have gone to her house everyday and been taking care of her home, meds and food shopping- now she cannot no longer live alone so she is with me.

I dont know how to talk to her about the problem of her peeing everywhere. In 3 days my home stinks of urine, my sofa is wet and smelly. i went into the bathroom and there is a urine soaked towel on my rug behind the toilet. She refuses to admit that she was using it as a pad. I said nicely, as not to embarrass her "gram, I put a plastic lined can for any soiled items you may have. I put the towel in there and Ill wash it for you tomorrow when I do laundry" she replies " oh i use that around my neck when I sweat"

I got her a huge bag of incontinance/heavy menstral pads a couple weeks back and she never used one. Now i go into my living room and smell it BAD, I sat on my couch and there are wet smelly spots. I asked her if she needed anything from the store, she said "No thanks" I said "how about some personals" that is what she calls lpads. she then said "I ran out of pads", I said "yes you need to use them I can smell the urine Gram, it's ok we will get you what ever you need." even tho I know she has a whole bag I went to the corner and got her smaller ones. She made no effort to change or clean up herself. ill clean the couch, I dont mind but neither me or my son deserve to live in urine fumed home- I am trying to help her by taking her into my home and caring for her- I love her but I dont want to resent her as i feel happening only after a few days

PLEASE HELP- WHAT TO DO?