Parenting Community Forum - Gosh...I am Livid!!!!

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Q: Gosh...I am Livid!!!!

asked by: Rosie H on March 17th, 2009

Extremely eHealthy

I’m sure some of you can relate to this. That’s why I need to post. I need to vent and know I’m not just an anal compulsive parent…lol.

Ok my mom watched my son while I’m at work. He’s a happy baby and is well taken care of. The only problem is she does not believe in keeping him clean! She gets him filthy! I mean he has food and grime caked in between his toes and fingers even his neck! His clothes get so filthy you have to scrub them. It’s ridiculous!

Now I know kids are dirty and they get dirty…totally cool with that. My son is only 6 months old and hasn’t even crawled yet. The only way he can get dirty is if you let him or do it yourself.

I have asked her so many times to keep him clean. So now she gets him as dirty as she wants and takes him bath before I can see him. But then all my clothes go missing and he’s always wearing something different then what he left in. All his socks and bibs disappear. I constantly have to buy new things. I’m so pissed off!

So, I just texted her again. I asked to respect me as a mother and not her daughter and to respect that I raise my son a different way than she raised us. And to please not lose all his clothes and to keep him clean. I also told her that if she cant respect my wishes then I will ask someone else to watch him. Is this to crazy on my part?

How have you guys dealt with this sort of thing? Oh and my hubby is about to strangle her…lol

Replies(8)

kaerbear

replied on March 17th, 2009

Most Diplomatic Poster

Are you paying her what you would otherwise pay for childcare? If you're not then you are stuck with what you get. I have some issues with my mom when she takes care of my daughter so I probably wouldn't take her up on it even if she offered to watch her full time for free. If I am paying for daycare then I can demand the level of care I expect and my mom can just be a grandmother, not a daycare. I love my mom but we often don't see eye to eye and I definitely am raising my daughter differently than she raised me.

kaerbear

replied on March 17th, 2009

Most Diplomatic Poster

kaerbear wrote:

Just to clarify. I can relate and don't think you're crazy or anything. I just think with grandmothers, either you let them do things their way or you find some kind of compromise that won't hurt the relationship.

Rosie H

replied on March 18th, 2009

Extremely eHealthy

True and yes I am paying her. Not as much as regular childcare though. I also help her out with food and money whenever she needs it. I understand your point of things though. And thanks for your input.

We talked yesterday and I think she sees how much this means to me.

lil_blaze2004

replied on March 18th, 2009

Moderator

I remember wanting to keep Trey clean all the time...Now he's almost 4 and I'm surprised when he comes home and is NOT dirty. lol I can't comment too much on this stuff as my mom lives too far away to see her grandson and my exes mom is....special. I'd love for any of Trey's grandparents to even offer to take him for a day for me... It's good that you talked to your mom, but hey, be glad she's around to help even if she's not perfect.

Rosie H

replied on March 18th, 2009

Extremely eHealthy

yeah I know hes a boy...and theres no way to keep boys clean all the time. Especially when hes crawling and then walking.

There is just a line between harmless fun and neglect. I mean there were times his clothes would be caked on his chest and he would have dried up stuff on him for god knows how long.

but i will try to be more understanding and grateful. SHe is helping me out bunches!

CupOfBlondSugar

replied on April 5th, 2009

New User

I haven't had a child that young in 9 yrs, but I have to ask this: why is your mother feeding a 6 month old table food like cake? If memeory serves, and my best friend has a 20 month old, they don't get any thing outside of the gerber isle, unless you make your own baby food, until a baby's first birthday!

slim98

replied on April 26th, 2009

New User

I really don't understand people who make so much fuss over a bit of dirt on a child. If he is going to your mum clean in the morning, and he is coming back clean in the afternoon (she baths him before she returns him to you?) then what does it matter if he got his clothes / face / hands dirty in the meantime. When he gets older and he wants to play with paint / clay / felt tips / mud / bake cakes etc are you going to deprive him of all this because he may get his face, clothes dirty, or even make a MESS in your house??!!!!

Rosie H

replied on May 6th, 2009

Extremely eHealthy

I totally understand. But there is a difference between getting a little dirt and being neglected. Food and dirt caked in the creases of his entire body? Leaving behind rashes and welts? Im sorry but this is not ok! And no I would never deprive my son from being a boy. Thankfully his father watches him now and I dont have to deal with my mother anymore.

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