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Girlfriend might have bi-polar disorder. Help pls

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Hello all,

Back in February I met this girl and we both fell in love immediately. She was my everything as I was to her. Everything was going great until that tragic day come along and she was struck by a car. Thankfully she survived and only had to stay in the hospital for 2 nights. That tuesday when she came home, her parents left us alone and i was left there to care for her. I did, but she decided to drink behind my back. She became delusional, was taken back to the hospital and now her parents hate me. I tried to mend things but she wouldn't allow me back. We didn't speak during April and May and that's when I entered my depression. I've been seeing a doctor myself for PTSD and depression. Well I ran into her in June and we've been seeing each other since then. She still hasn't told her parents that we are seeing each other again because she is afraid. Throughout the whole summer, I have supported her so much. I've gone to countless doctors appts, hospital visits and etc b/c I didn't want her to go through it alone. She has told me that she was deeply in love with and that I make her so happy several times. She's told me that she was so glad that she had me back in her life. Well about 2 weeks ago her mom had surgery and this has caused her to work for the next 2-3 weeks. I knew she was going through a tough time and I tried supporting her. She has been so cold to me and just started telling me that her life is upside down and she wants nothing to do with me now. I saw her at a concert yesterday and she treated me so coldly. Her relationship with her friends are fine. It's just ME that she pushes away when she gets overwhelmed and stressed out. I'm pretty sure as soon as her mom gets better and starts working again, she will come back to me and just act like nothing has happened. She has already done this to me twice. What do I do? I feel so hurt when she does this to me. I love her so much and my friends tell me to just drop her but I can't. Her emotions are just erratic. Shes hot and cold then she's yes then she's no. Dealing with this has exhausted me so much. I haven't really been sleeping well for the past week.

Also I feel that I should mention that she has been on prozac before the whole car accident. Her parents threw it out b/c they don't want her on any medications. She has told me countless times that she has been depressed and I can see it.
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replied September 8th, 2010
Experienced User
Here's an excerpt from another post I wrote today:

I'd have to say this is the reality of trying to have a relationship with someone who is either bi-polar or who has borderline personality disorder. You better be ready for the constant mood swings and other goodies that come along with this disorder. I tried to have a relationship with someone, who I'll call KH, who has borderline personality disorder (similar in many ways). I found it exhausting and very difficult to deal with. Sometimes she was wonderful and loving....someone I’d want in my life......then there's the times she was totally out of control.....like she lived in a different world. All I can say is if you want a life filled with drama, if her meds are not working, then by all means pursue her. I decided to cut off all communications with KH due to the treatment and crazy stunts…..and guess what…..she still wants to be friends. I don’t believe I’ll ever understand her train of thought....but come to think of it.....I'm not the one with borderline personality disorder so how could I understand what goes on in the mind of someone who exhibits it?
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replied September 9th, 2010
Zerosoul416, she does have some burden to mend the fences between the two of you. I have the disorder and am aware that I can't be cold to someone and NOT make amends if I want to reconnect to someone; an apology, an acknowledgement of my behavior, or something. Maybe she has already been doing this? Without her contribution to the relationship, you will be trapped in a pattern of abuse.
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replied December 2nd, 2010
Zero,

hang in there man. i'm going through the same thing right now and i can fully understand where you're coming from with the everyone-tells-you-to-leave-but-you-just-c an't-seem-to-find-the-door. i'm there myself. exact same thing: things were going so great, and then there was a major episode and two suicide attempts and, even though i've been nothing but supportive of her through this and given space when needed, she wants nothing to do with me and now i'm her enemy. i also went to psych appointments with her, but it's a vicious cycle, friend. the disorder in itself is only the means to an end. certain individuals live with it and can function very well; others, not so much. i also work in a psychiatric hospital, as does she, and i really see the worst of the worst, and it's heartbreaking to see that every day knowing that one day this could be the one you love. take some time away from the situation and clear your head. it hurts, but you need to really look deep within yourself and find out if you're a strong enough person to be able to deal with this for the rest of your life. if you are, then great things can truly happen and you can find some kind of happiness, but otherwise you're going right down with the ship. i hate to say it, but if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. and it won't last.
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replied December 2nd, 2010
Experienced User
Exactly, bp is terrible and has taken my BF away from me. A person who could be so loving and caring after a major stressful episode has turned 360 degrees away from me, does not love me, does not phone me much, when I see him he looks like if he is wearing a mask, he now says I have no place in his life, however sometimes the mask falls, like when he said to me'give it time please' or when he wanted to know if I still care for him and got worried that I wouldnt see him again. I think since the major streesful episode he is in the same cycle and cannot find his way out. He phones to see me but it is like talking to a stranger, he is sooooo cold, he says contradictory statements and messes my head up. He is now blaming me for the mess he is done and saying he cannot have a relationship with me because I find problems in evertyhing, this because I complained that he went off with some girl from a bar.
For him the problem is not that he got a girl in a bar, but that I took offense to that. Im to blame.
Im now going away for a month and lets see what happens. If I forget him I wont write in this Forum any longer.
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