So I have suspected for a while that my girlfriend has had eating issues. I have noticed her not eating often or enough, and always not wanting to talk about eating. She complains about her weight all the time... This is typically seen mostly before her period, but lately has been all the time.
It's been getting vastly worse. She recently told me that she wanted to loose 20 pounds (which she does NOT need to do... she's extremely skinny. I think she's at 115, so 20 is a LOT). She has started legitimage ways to do this, such as working out regularly and eating salads (when she's eating), but she doesn't need to loose this weight, and on top of the normal ways, she's falling into unhealthy too. She also started making references to throwing up. This really scared me because I had been suspecting it. I admit that several times when this came up I reacted harshly. I didn't mean to, or want to.. I simply love and care for her, and want her best, but it came out wrong, and this hurt her. I tried my best to be gentle and let her know that no matter what she is going through I love her.
So tonight she admitted to me that she had a sort of disorder that is a combination of both. Here is what she said:
She eats a little every day, but then feels full, and in fact like she's eaten too much and is fat after only one small meal (and by meal I mean really just a small piece of food.. I know that last semester she often made a days meal of a small bag of sunflower seads..). She would then feel that she can't eat anything else, so she would tell people she was eating at home, but would not. She also said that when she would have to go out to eat with people, she would eat, but throw it up later.
The worst, and hardest part for me, is what she contributed it to. She said that she's doing it for me. She said that it's because I make fun of fat people, and that she is affraid of not being attractive to me. I tried telling her that I love her for her, and that nothing she could do or look like would be unattractive to me, because I love her for her, which is the truth. She's an amazing girl, and her looks are the last thing on the list of importance to me, but I have given her signals to believe that it is important to me. This hurts me so badly, because it means I'm causing it.
How can I help her? What can I say to her or do to undo the damage and make her know that her looks are not important to me, but also let her know that I think she is the most beautiful girl in the world? What can I do for her to get her on the road of recovery? I know this is a long message, but I sincerely appreciate any help. Thanks!
