My mental health isues started in 1999. I
have Bi Polar. 2005/2006 were very tough
years for my Dear Husband (DH). He was
taking care of me. He was cooking and
giving me my medication. I had forgotten
how to take my medication. Anyway, in
2006 on Valentine's day, I came home from
a class and my DH was soo drunk that he
could not dispense the medication. I was
soo mad. Yelling at him.
Then I was telling mother in law about it
and she said I have to learn to take care
of myself. DH typed out the medication
list for me complete with how many times a
day I was to take the medication. I
started getting the medication for myself.
I had to start taking care of myself.
My DH is supposed to compliment me, edify
me but instead I was bringing him down
with my irresponsibility.
The home was messy. I never did the
dishes apart from the ones DH needed for
the night. I would wash them in the bath
tub.
Mother in law found a cleaning lady for us
and she paid half while we paid the other
half. That was helpful but it did not
last long. Soon I was faced with a house
that was going out of control. I chose a
day in the week to do laundry weekly and
the same for housekeeping. I started
doing dishes daily and more recently, I am
doing dishes in the evening.
All this time things were going wrong, I
was not showering.
Now I shower or bath everynight. I make
the effort. I never stopped going to work
but I was almost fired for making
mistakes. That woke me right up. I could
not afford to waste away the job that
gives us food and other essentials like
MJ.
I had to decide to change. The medication
was and is helping me but I had to make
positive change. Realizing that I had a
responsibility to take care of myself was
the key. I am doing breakfast, lunch and
dinner these days. For breakfast and
lunch, I have to take care ot those
myself. I am not waiting for DH to give
me breakfast and lunch. I have made it my
responsibility. My DH is happy to see me
taking care of myself. The only meal I
ate for years was dinner. Very bad
behaviour because I also have AIDS.
Another time I told DH that I was bored
and he asked me to get a hobby. It took a
while but I started doing hobbies here and
there instead of being on the computer
googling this and the other. I have
recently made a timetable with things to
do. I spend about an hour and a half on
the computer in the morning. Then I skip
rope hundred times for exercise. this is
a habit I had before but I had neglected
it until I joined these forums and met
Homerx.
From there I walk
and pray and then take a break. I crochet
for an hour then I have lunch break. The
other two hours I spend on collage and
coloring. Then I nap for an hour. All
this was time I spent bored before the
timetable. Boredom was killing me but not
any more. From there I have 4:00pm tea
with cookies. Then I have more time for
entertainment. Music, video, games and
such. After dinner I do the dishes,
shower and read.
The timetable is flexible. It is
something to do when I have nothing else
to do.
I found that in all the six times I have
been in the mental hospital, it was
because I was angry. The last time I was
in hospital in May 2006, I screamed and
yelled out the anger. I felt better. It
was a safe place to do that. Now I am not
habouring past anger and can handle anger
without causing harm to other especially
my DH. I had to stop being angry at him
for things that he had nothing to do with.
My anger was from the past and I would
hurt he that was close to me. I figured
out this was neither good for me or my
loved ones.
My hope is that your hubby makes effort
and comes out of his comfort zone. All
the best. Always, Mson.
