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Getting parents to support my views

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Hi,
I''m 19 years old and am a student in college. My family is a strict conservative family. Throughout my entire middle school and teenage years I pretended to have their values and beliefs to avoid confrontation. If anything was ever hinted at, they always said if I wasn''t happy to move out. However, I''m now in college and learning to think for myself and I''m tired of playing the part. Summer vacation is almost here and I want to tell them my beliefs and get them to see my point of view. I''m not asking them to approve. I just want them to accept them and still continue to be proud of me and support me. I am unable to see my father and his side of the family due to divorce problems that happened in my childhood so the only family that I have is my mom and grandparents. I don''t want to lose them to but living a lie is getting to be too much of a burden. If anyone could offer some advice on talking to Conservative Christian parents that would be great. Their denomination is Baptist if that helps too.
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replied May 10th, 2010
The best thing you can do to have a good relationship with your family, mother, etc. is to always do "the best you can" for yourself. That way, they won't have anything to worry about, and you will have your independance. There is no magic formula for parenting, as the book stores and libraries are loaded down with a million + books on the subject. Of course, you will have your own views in life, that doesn't mean you have to lose your relationship over it. Be mindful of the fact that your family had a family too, and that they might not have liked everything about how they were raised either. We get the "luck of the draw"....sometimes that turns out to be wonderful, meaning sometimes you are fortunate enough to be blessed with exceptional parents, and they in turn may get the "luck of the draw" as well, meaning that their chldren turn out to be wonderful contributing adults capable of caring for themselves, and still be loving and respectful of their parents. Parents are not rocket scientists, granted some are in need of real education about what is right of wrong, but most of the time parents do the best they can, doing what they think is the right thing at the time. I believe most parents, myself included, always want the very best for their children, inspite of what their children think. I did not have the most nurturning parents in the world, but they did not either. I'm sure they would have loved to have a different childhood as well. If you can kind of look at your parents that way, perhaps you will be able to relate to them better. We are afterall, just mere mortals, trying to get through life the best way we can. You don't have to agree with everyting they believe in, but how you treat them (with respect and love) will greatly influence how they come to accept you. Try in spite of yourself, to be always mindful that parents were kids once too, and maybe things happened to them on their way to being parents that should not have. Hope in some small way this helps you, as today is a sad day for me as a mother. I was told on Mothers Day that I did not turn out to be the mother my daughter wants to have a relationship with. That hurts, as I have tried my best for 42 years to be a better person, and a better mother each and every day of my life.
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