Hi Soucie,
I don't really have anything helpful to say as far as how to stop feeling this way, but I do know how you feel.
Twice this last week, I didn't go to events with friends after I had told them I would go.
Just couldn't drag myself out.
Too much trouble to take a shower, put myself together, and go meet them or lunch one day. Then last night I was supposed to go to someone's house for one of those parties where you're expected to buy stuff from the person demonstrating all of the naughty toys. I don't have anyone to use naughty toys with, and I dreaded being around everyone giggling about the toys, so I didn't go.
Now I'm feeling like a terrible friend. Wouldn't a good friend have gone to the party anyway, just to be around friends?
And I didn't want to have to come up with answers when talking to friends, like "What have you been up to? We haven't seen you for a few months."
Or coming up with stuff when introduced to the people at the naughty toy party who I hadn't met yet. There's always someone asking "Where do you work? What do you do?"
Um, let's see. I don't work because I got fired again from, like, my 30th job. And I don't do much except stay in bed all day lately.
Now I'm feeling guilty because I told people I'd be there and I wasn't. Does this mean they'll quit inviting me to stuff?
Last time these friends saw me, I was manic and carrying on like a stand-up comedienne. If they saw me now, they'd be alarmed.
I share your pain, Soucie.
Maybe someone out there has something more encouraging to say, but I just wanted you to know I understand.
